Jeezy Creezy

Man, I remember when I was positive I was going to blog all the time and love it and put ads on it and turn it into something sharable and great.

I'm such a fucking sham.

Drove around pretty aimlessly today since Lauren's out of town.  Just one of those days.  Just really, really bored for long stretches and I took an Excedrin just so I could get jacked up on caffeine for a while.

Probably not something I should do very often.  Got some work done, but mainly I just sat around being furious about not having an office.

"BUT THE OVERHEAD," my overcautious business self said to me.

"You can go suck a fuck, John E. Warren, MBA," said I.

Then I ate a big thing of bread pudding and stared at my pot belly in the mirror while Bird the cat literally shoveled her tiny cat food into her face.  It's like a tiny, furry Playmobil dump truck going to work.  I want to glue little sticks on her back and put on a hard hat and go "CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA WHOOOOOP" while she eats.

Jesus I need to get on that.

Chase You Down Until You LOVE ME

I have a vice and her name is LADY GAGA.



"Paparazzi"
Lady Gaga

River Oaks Theater & Book Stop

I figure I should update this thing periodically.

Most of my stuff will be at www.balambgardenparty.com from now on. I'll try to make time for this personal blog, though. It's still my baby.

It makes me mad that the River Oaks Theater and the historic Book Stop building in Houston are going to be torn down soon. I know people can band together and stop these things from happening, but it's pretty rare. There are just some things that need to be left alone, which is usually said of the wilderness or protected park areas, but I think it should apply to historical buildings, too. I figure you can put anything you damn well please inside a building, but there's no real need to change the structure of the building. It's 99% of the reason I liked going to that Book Stop. Otherwise, it's a fucking Book Stop.

Houston needs more high rises like I need a dick for a tongue. It's stupid.

I Was Once A Private Man, Part One

02:41 am
you ain't fooling nobody with the lights out

having her here makes me feel pretty fucking excellent. i should be working but i keep getting distracted.

i love that she asks me lots of questions.

can't wait to sleep in my bed when i get home.

Current Mood: really good, not tired yet

Current Music: the arcade fire - neighborhood #3 (power out)

03:39 am
sleep now moon

really awake, really alive.

really fucked if i don't start working again.

and thus begins the morning of march 18, the start of spring break and the start of something good.

Current Mood: awake, alive, possibly fucked

Current Music: copeland - when paula sparks

06:08 pm
happiness, more or less

i think i'm in love with lauren. actually, i hope i'm in love with lauren. that makes it sound like i don't know what i'm feeling.

i'm in love with lauren, and it makes me happy.

i used to be afraid of falling in love after heather, but if i have this amazing girl in front of me that means more and more to me every day, then what the hell do i have to be afraid of?

i'm in love for the second time in my life.

Current Mood: in love

Current Music: the verve - lucky man



Brought to you by a Livejournal account long gone by -- March 2005. Nothing new to say, really. Just waiting for school to start.



"Two Doves"
Dirty Projectors

Business on the Top, Party on the Bottom

It's weird being a new patient at a dentist's office. I haven't really done that since I was seven or something like that. I had a cleaning/check-up today. I forgot that I had to fill out a ton of paperwork so I showed up right when the appointment was supposed to begin. Kind of a dumb move. I felt really bad about it.

The paperwork asked me if I was happy with my teeth from a cosmetic perspective. My answer was, verbatim, "Business on the top, party on the bottom."

No one acknowledged it, which was actually more satisfying, in a way.

Forgive the lyrics of today's song. Never mind the fact that they sound like Orgy doing Joy Division instead of New Order. Example: "Let's grow old together and die at the same time!"

Yep. Yepper do.




"To Lose My Life"
White Lies

Wacky Pranksters!

I quit my job after they took me down to ten hours a week, but most of you know this by now. I've already started a bunch of other projects and already have my previous employer asking for help with something (though it's slightly more complicated than that description).

I am thoroughly confused by this commercial. I don't get the dancing. I don't get the hamster yoga. I don't understand what's happening.

Also, I've posted the results of that quiz that Priya posted. I feel like I did this years ago and got something totally different -- I wish I could dig those results up. But David Letterman and John Belushi? Hmm. I do have weird teeth and love little chocolate donuts. I can't imagine the mongoloid who gets "Prankster" as a result. If you get that result, keep it to yourself and pretend I didn't just write that. I love you, whoever you are, and I'm sure you're not that stupid.

Your result for The 3 Variable Funny Test...

the Cutting Edge

(67% dark, 46% spontaneous, 21% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK



Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.

Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.


PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi




The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -

Take The 3 Variable Funny Test at HelloQuizzy

"French Navy"
Camera Obscura

A Musical Confession to Be Given to My Father Upon My Possible Untimely Death

I've always claimed my mother's taste in music, which, in a pinch, I would describe to someone as "she don't like no pussy music." She likes the Stones and Zeppelin, Hendrix and Dylan (don't for one second think you can claim Dylan is pussy music even if it's more poetic and thoughtful). She's pounded these things into my skull and I'll always be thankful for it.

My father, on the other hand, likes the lighter fare. He listens to some country, which I abhor. He's been known to like the smooth jazz, which I can't get behind. He even likes some Beyonce, which I won't even comment on.

My dad's musical taste has always been a not-so-inside joke between my mom and I, which I know eats at my dad.

But here it is. My confession that he may or may not ever get to see.

I listen to Bonnie Raitt because of my father. I like Bonnie Raitt. A lot. I just remembered this. I remember this one day when he took me to work with him in his red Mitsubishi sports car in 1991 and played a Bonnie Raitt record the entire way to Las Colinas. I listened to "Not the Only One," originally written by an Irish dude, like 25 times. True facts, I just listened to it another 25 times much to the chagrin of Lauren.

This is, of course, a microcosm of my main point. I have my dad to thank for the other side of me that loves the lighter stuff. The guy who loves Azure Ray, Tracy Chapman, and Billy Joel has Bill Warren genetics to thank. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Word life.

So, remember this, Dad, the next time I bust your chops for blasting Shawn Colvin in your car, remember that deep down, I'm closing my eyes and singing "Sunny Came Home" as loud as I possibly can.

But I'll probably call you a pussy.




"Not the Only One"
Bonnie Raitt

Those Days Have Long Since Passed

All of a sudden, I totally miss my Dreamcast.

Maybe Pablo will sell mine back to me. I bet he doesn't even have it anymore. I think I can still get one on eBay for less than $50, though. I'll have to look into it if Pablo got rid of it.

Work has been weird. Yesterday they were convinced that they would have to take a bunch of people (including your favoritest person in the whole wide universe) down to part-time work. That was before we realized there was a glitch preventing customers from emailing us, so at about 3pm yesterday we got an instant 50 cases as opposed to the one-per-hour rate we were at for about a week. Not sure where everything stands now. I wish they were a bit more communicative. I would've liked it the email had gone, "Yeah you're definitely going on part time start on X date" instead of "So things have been busy busy busy and we might have to start scheduling people for part time work but who knows when that'll be YARGH."

Just tell me and expect me to comply.

Sometimes I long for corporate management, which makes my six-year-old self want to ram all of his Matchbox cars up his ass.

I've been reading a lot, a lot, a lot of Pictures for Sad Children, which is adding to the overall feeling of hopelessness in the work-related arena. There are days, like today, that I just tell myself over and over that no matter how graduate school goes my wildest dreams will always be about as unrealistic as hoping for the ability to eat and eat and never get fat. It did occur to me, however, that my wildest dream growing up is actually kind of an odd reality. Working for a gaming company I really respect and love was always something I kind of scoffed at in my head, but now I'm close, both geographically and in terms of work in the arena, to fulfilling that dream. It's neat, for sure, but I'll believe it when I see it.

And, let's be honest, when I see it, I still won't believe it.




"Bang! Bang!"
The Knux

Misery Inspires

According to our big wig muckity mucks, last week was the slowest week in our company's history in terms of shipping orders. Not a great sign in any economy, but I suppose it's a bit more par for the course in the current economy.

That said, fuck being at work with nothing to do. Friday was worse, but Monday was pretty bad, too. I guess I should try to get some writing done if this persists. I just hate being at work and feeling like I can't do any other work -- probably because it would be kind of unprofessional to do other work at work.

Whatever.

I did get to listen to "The Royal We" by Silversun Pickups like 38 times, though. God that band is like heroin to me. And they are like the Pumpkins. So what? It's like the Pumpkins became totally irrelevant a few years ago and these guys picked up the torch. That's totally fine by me. Let Corgan write Green Day songs and film music videos in front of upside down American flags and these guys can play frantic bleak rock. Their new album, Swoon, kind of says "fuck off" to the slower stuff from Carnavas and Pikil and decides to just get right into the high energy songs about revolutions and mental breakdowns. It's thoroughly trodden ground, to be sure, but it totally works for me. "Panic Switch," the first single from the album, has a totally irresistible chorus. It's "The Royal We," though, that so firmly tugs on my senses like Lovedrug's "Blackout" five years ago. It builds into such a fantastic climax that it was a total joy just having it on repeat all day like some lunatic reading Catcher in the Rye for the 263rd time. Love it. I wrote "Silversun Pickups Rool" in my own shit on my computer screen before I left.

What?

I have a long story about seeing Vidhisha for the first time in half a decade, but I'd rather go to bed. Besides, I know at least two of you know the story already. Later, perhaps. Maybe if work doesn't go so well for the third day in a row.

Which is likely. Goodnight, my chickens.




"The Royal We"
Silversun Pickups

Pirates v. United States Navy

I have to say, I would have been fucking stoked if, instead of hanging out in the Persian Gulf for the past week or so, my Naval officers had asked me, "Hey can you, uh, come chill off the coast of Africa for a few days and BLOW THE HEADS OFF OF SOME SOMALI PIRATES FOR US?"

I would be kind of jazzed about that.



"Life in a Northern Town"
The Dream Academy

Eleven

Arya once got so drunk when we lived together in Sherman that, when asked when I should make sure he was awake in the morning, he responded by very loudly whispering the word "eleven" ten or so times. He would laugh and laugh each time. He didn't remember this.

Right? Is that how it went?

Anyway, I talked to someone much more drunk than that this morning. At my work. On the phone. Apparently this woman decided to get up from her bed in Bronxville, NY, have a fifth (or three) of Scotch, and call Despair to place an order for a few custom calendars. She rambled for a while about a woman on the phone who knew nothing about politics. She gave us her blessing to raise our prices if we needed to. She asked if "Enhancer" was a demotivator she could put on her calendar (it isn't.). She said "inevitabable" a few times. She told me she would talk to my supervisor about how outstanding I was on the phone. I passed on the offer.

America!

I don't want to work in customer service forever. Honestly, I don't want to work in customer service a day longer, but a job is a job and God knows how important that is right now.

I woke up this morning thinking about the day Marcia told our entire debate class that I had a crush on Celia -- in front of Celia. This was in Buenos Aires, of course. I also got into business school, in case you didn't know that, either.

Jesus.

Anyway, I think that day perfectly summed up the "suffering builds character" model so many nerds, geeks, and pariahs become closely affiliated with in their adolescence. I remember just weeks prior being approached by Marcia during a break between classes. I was looking out at the River like the emo bugger I was (AM!) when she sat down on a bench next to me.

She had this smug little grin on her face and flatly asked me how long it had been that I had a thing for Celia. I was surprised, I guess, but more defensive than anything. I think I asked her how she knew -- like it was some conspiracy, like my phone had been tapped or something. She said "It's so obvious." I guess I've never been good at hiding those kinds of things.

She asked me if Will, Celia's boyfriend and my very good friend, knew about this. And he did -- Marcia seemed to think that should be awkward or threatening, but truthfully Will was never threatened by this. I don't think he ever entertained the idea that I could be competitive with him. Can't blame him.

I was pretty terrified that Marcia would spill the beans, but she surprised me and ended up keeping the secret for a full two weeks before she wrote it on the white board in the middle of our debate class.

I don't think I ever really confronted Marcia about it after the fact, though this act convinced me of her hatred toward me. I think I still believe this, despite the fact that at one point I was speaking with her on the phone an average of an hour per night.

So yes, suffering builds character and all of that mess. Not that you asked. God knows you need another Buenos Aires story like I need another neuromuscular disorder/like Rhianna needs another elbow to her face/like Kanye West needs an extra mouth.

I just have so many dreams about the building, the school, that I start thinking about exactly what happened there. I can't figure out if it's the experiences that make me dream or if it's the dreams that make me think of the experiences.

This blog post was brought to you by my Xanga, circa September 2004. Holy Christ.

Sleep well! Elizabethtown soon!




"This Is Your Life"
The Killers

Amy's & Waits

I do love the Amy's. If you don't try the Belgian chocolate, graham cracker, and marshmallow combination before you die, you haven't really lived at all. I also guessed the movie quote correctly, which earned me a free crush-in.

Apparently I made the guy feel awkward about telling me I was one of the only people who got it all day. He just said it because I'm in a wheelchair and I look unkempt.

Maybe.

Anyway, here's the quote (no cheating!):

"Peach...I could eat a peach for hours."

Something I've noticed about Amy's -- and other Austin businesses in general, for that matter -- is that they offer a high-quality product but a shit way of selling it. They let really ugly, sweaty, hairy stoners handle your (really delicious) ice cream and then they blast obscure Tom Waits music over the speaker system.

Two things that aren't appetizing are hairy stoners and Tom Waits music. Sure, there's a hip kind of charm to these things, but appetizing they are not.

In fact, when I start business school (did you guys know I got into an MBA program!?!?!?) I'm going to make it my goal to analyze the demographic that is attracted to sweaty hairballs serving Tom Waits ice cream.




"Way Down in the Hole"
Tom Waits

Snaggletooth

Elizabethtown actually is the worst movie ever, isn't it?

Let's all get drunk and watch it, OK? Let's make it a thing we do.




"Only the Lonely"
The Motels

Great Moments in Asking a Girl Out

5/23/03

John: So, do you wanna do something sometime?
Heather: Uh...sure?
John: OK, great! So, I'll call you sometime...
Heather: Sounds...good.

1/30/05

John: So, you know I like you, right?
Jennifer: Oh...
John: Well, I do.
Jennifer: *rejects John for an hour*

2/14/05

John: So, uh, I wanna ask you something, but I feel I'll be hitting you with an awkward truck.
Lauren: Uh, haha.
John: So are you ready for the awkward truck?
Lauren: Uh, yeah.


THIRD TIME'S A CHARM YOU ASSHOLE.



"More Than This"
Roxy Music

Braggy

I'm updating at work. Pretty bored.

I got really tired of seeing that fucking snow post at the top.

Ugh, I'm such a whore for snow.

I got into graduate school -- if you read this blog you probably already know that. It's coming off as braggy now, isn't it? Well I'm happy, dammit. I'll try to post some meaningful links describing the program at some later point in time. In two and a half years I'll be the CEO of BioWare, though. Just watch me.

Just. Watch. Me.




"Fallen"
Lauren Wood

Lightning and Snow

The evening of December 9th saw it snow in Austin. I'm not talking little flurries, I'm talking big, honking snowflakes.

People outside, taking pictures, running around with their dogs, talking about Christmas miracles, making excited phone calls, etc.

Of course it didn't last long, but while it did, it was fun.

I was listening to the radio in my car (not a frequent thing for me) and "Janie's Got a Gun" came on. Not my favorite, but I stayed with it. When Tyler says "lightning" a few minutes into the song, a bolt of lightning darted down from the sky on the horizon. SO AWESOME! NEW FAVORITE SONG!

OK I should get back to work on my grad school essay. I'm almost done, I swear!



"Dancing in the Dark"
Bruce Springsteen

Hurr Derr More Politics

I won't say anything about the outcome of Prop 8 that hasn't been better said by Priya (hope you don't mind the shout-out), but I will repeat one of the ideas she raises. A lot of people who oppose gay marriage site the idea that if we let humans of the same gender marry each other, then that will undoubtedly lead to people wanting to marry goats, trees, postage stamps, Playstations, Astroglide, hairless cats, large jugs of moonshine, dildos, etc. If you claim this idea as your own, then you also claim the idea that gay men and woman are less human than straight men and women. Does that sit well with you?

OK, that's all.

I just watched SiCKO (yeah, I spelled it like that) again for the first time since seeing it in theaters a while back. Lauren hadn't seen it before. I think it's really Moore's finest work. I didn't like Fahrenheit 9/11 for various reasons. Bowling for Columbine had some great moments (I'm a huge fan of strict gun regulation -- the 2nd Amendment is vastly misunderstood in this country). I think SiCKO is pretty great from start to finish. However, I ultimately think it works better as an indictment of the US health care system than a glorification of socialized medicine systems in Canada, the UK, France, and Cuba. I'm not foolish enough to believe that socialized medicine doesn't come at a price in terms of high taxes and some way-of-life changes, but I do maintain the belief that we should try socialized medicine in this country. Our system, as it stands, is corrupt, broken, and misanthropic. The medical profession was never meant to be the cash cow it's become in the US. I'm hopeful that Obama will lean us in that direction before his first four years are done.

I'd love to know what everyone thinks about this. Reasons against socialized medicine resonate with me a great deal -- it's not like I'm completely sold on my stance. But yeah, I've heard good reasons for and against and it seems like something this country should be open to.




"Red Star"
Third Eye Blind

Long Live Jenkins

Third Eye Blind has released a new single. Apparently, they have an EP coming out on November 18 called "Red Star." I suggest you check it out. Thanks to Mike for the link.

About the song: it's pretty political, which I usually give a big "herrrr durrrrr derpy derp" to. But, the lyrics are actually so dumb that I can't even fault the song for being too political. I really like the song, though. I also like the nod to M.I.A., naturally.




"Non-Dairy Creamer"
Third Eye Blind

Oh, Can We?

Obviously I'm pretty happy about the country's choice of President, but what the fuck was Michelle Obama wearing?

I would also love to discuss this issue with you in person, but I'll offer the topic here. Sorry to be a downer, but can we talk about the race issue? People on TV are acting like racism is "so last season" now that Obama is the President, but does anyone actually believe that because the majority of America made an informed decision to elect a "black" (more on the quotes in a second) President that it means the end of racism in America? I hope as much, but I'm skeptical.

Also, the cynic in me wants to stand up and ask, "would America have voted the same way if President Obama had two black parents instead of one?" During this whole thing, people have labeled President Obama as "black" seemingly to bolster an argument either for or against him. It's so irrelevant, yet not historically irrelevant. I see the history here, I do. It's a pretty big deal -- obviously I don't have the personal context to see it as a huge deal, you know? I get it. I see the crying, happy faces and feel something for them, but not for the country, necessarily. I'm very happy for the people that feel warm and comfortable in the historical context of the election. It's a very cool thing.

But I am a cynic. He's not black. I want President Obama to be a historical President for reasons other than half of his genes.

I'm hopeful that America will get the race thing out its system because of President Obama and see him as a great man and a great leader for this country. I'm tired of the race thing from both sides.

I'm still struck by something Colin Powell said a week ago or so. He said what amounted to an indictment of people claiming that it would be some grand horror if Barack Obama was a Muslim. He basically gave a "so what" to the idea of having a Muslim President in America. Everyone on the news tonight, tomorrow, and five years from now needs to get a little perspective here. A "black," Christian candidate wins the Presidency and everyone thinks "anyone can do fucking anything they want to in America!!!!!!" We wouldn't give a Muslim candidate the time of day in this country. Nor a Buddhist, nor a Hindu, nor an atheist. We barely give Jewish candidates as much.

Let's pump the breaks. We finally elect someone who is half black. Way to fucking go. Now let's work on electing people who choose to be something other than the status quo in America.

This was a bit scatterbrained, I know. I don't for one second want to suggest I'm not elated about the result of this election. I believe John McCain is a good man and would've been a good leader, something that I know many of my peers don't believe, but I think President Obama is the kind heart and the big brain this country needs -- whether you see it now or not.

Though, if I'm right, I think most of my readers do see that. I don't want to assume as much, though. As far as I can tell, the rest of the world seems pretty happy about our decision.

And, I'm sorry if you don't like that I sometimes talk about politics. It can really be obnoxious, I know. I really want to not be obnoxious about it, though. I like talking about issues without getting all huffy and irritated.

Also, I can't believe I'm saying this, but hurrah for Carrie Underwood. If I see Oprah half taking credit for Obama's success one more time, I'm going to blow my brains out.

But yes, good job.




"Perfect Crime #2"
The Decemberists

Just A Question, Not A Judgment. I Swear.

If you like the show 30 Rock, could you tell me why? I just can't get into it. Have I seen two bad episodes?

It might help to see the episodes in order. Maybe we're just not destined to be TV BFFs. That's OK. I want to like it, though, you know?




"The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room"
Flight of the Conchords