Rolling Meme

Jeezy Creezy

2011-06-05T00:48:00.000-07:00

Man, I remember when I was positive I was going to blog all the time and love it and put ads on it and turn it into something sharable and great.

I'm such a fucking sham.

Drove around pretty aimlessly today since Lauren's out of town. Just one of those days. Just really, really bored for long stretches and I took an Excedrin just so I could get jacked up on caffeine for a while.

Probably not something I should do very often. Got some work done, but mainly I just sat around being furious about not having an office.

"BUT THE OVERHEAD," my overcautious business self said to me.

"You can go suck a fuck, John E. Warren, MBA," said I.

Then I ate a big thing of bread pudding and stared at my pot belly in the mirror while Bird the cat literally shoveled her tiny cat food into her face. It's like a tiny, furry Playmobil dump truck going to work. I want to glue little sticks on her back and put on a hard hat and go "CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA WHOOOOOP" while she eats.

Jesus I need to get on that.

Chase You Down Until You LOVE ME

2009-10-08T20:24:00.000-07:00

I have a vice and her name is LADY GAGA.

"Paparazzi"
Lady Gaga

River Oaks Theater & Book Stop

2009-09-25T21:48:00.000-07:00

I figure I should update this thing periodically.

Most of my stuff will be at www.balambgardenparty.com from now on. I'll try to make time for this personal blog, though. It's still my baby.

It makes me mad that the River Oaks Theater and the historic Book Stop building in Houston are going to be torn down soon. I know people can band together and stop these things from happening, but it's pretty rare. There are just some things that need to be left alone, which is usually said of the wilderness or protected park areas, but I think it should apply to historical buildings, too. I figure you can put anything you damn well please inside a building, but there's no real need to change the structure of the building. It's 99% of the reason I liked going to that Book Stop. Otherwise, it's a fucking Book Stop.

Houston needs more high rises like I need a dick for a tongue. It's stupid.

I Was Once A Private Man, Part One

2009-06-22T20:38:00.000-07:00

02:41 am
you ain't fooling nobody with the lights out

having her here makes me feel pretty fucking excellent. i should be working but i keep getting distracted.

i love that she asks me lots of questions.

can't wait to sleep in my bed when i get home.

Current Mood: really good, not tired yet

Current Music: the arcade fire - neighborhood #3 (power out)

03:39 am
sleep now moon

really awake, really alive.

really fucked if i don't start working again.

and thus begins the morning of march 18, the start of spring break and the start of something good.

Current Mood: awake, alive, possibly fucked

Current Music: copeland - when paula sparks

06:08 pm
happiness, more or less

i think i'm in love with lauren. actually, i hope i'm in love with lauren. that makes it sound like i don't know what i'm feeling.

i'm in love with lauren, and it makes me happy.

i used to be afraid of falling in love after heather, but if i have this amazing girl in front of me that means more and more to me every day, then what the hell do i have to be afraid of?

i'm in love for the second time in my life.

Current Mood: in love

Current Music: the verve - lucky man

Brought to you by a Livejournal account long gone by -- March 2005. Nothing new to say, really. Just waiting for school to start.

"Two Doves"
Dirty Projectors

Business on the Top, Party on the Bottom

2009-05-07T20:03:00.000-07:00

It's weird being a new patient at a dentist's office. I haven't really done that since I was seven or something like that. I had a cleaning/check-up today. I forgot that I had to fill out a ton of paperwork so I showed up right when the appointment was supposed to begin. Kind of a dumb move. I felt really bad about it.

The paperwork asked me if I was happy with my teeth from a cosmetic perspective. My answer was, verbatim, "Business on the top, party on the bottom."

No one acknowledged it, which was actually more satisfying, in a way.

Forgive the lyrics of today's song. Never mind the fact that they sound like Orgy doing Joy Division instead of New Order. Example: "Let's grow old together and die at the same time!"

Yep. Yepper do.

"To Lose My Life"
White Lies

Wacky Pranksters!

2009-05-06T21:00:00.000-07:00

I quit my job after they took me down to ten hours a week, but most of you know this by now. I've already started a bunch of other projects and already have my previous employer asking for help with something (though it's slightly more complicated than that description).

I am thoroughly confused by this commercial. I don't get the dancing. I don't get the hamster yoga. I don't understand what's happening.

Also, I've posted the results of that quiz that Priya posted. I feel like I did this years ago and got something totally different -- I wish I could dig those results up. But David Letterman and John Belushi? Hmm. I do have weird teeth and love little chocolate donuts. I can't imagine the mongoloid who gets "Prankster" as a result. If you get that result, keep it to yourself and pretend I didn't just write that. I love you, whoever you are, and I'm sure you're not that stupid.

Your result for The 3 Variable Funny Test...

the Cutting Edge

(67% dark, 46% spontaneous, 21% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK

Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.

Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi

The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -

Take The 3 Variable Funny Test at HelloQuizzy

"French Navy"
Camera Obscura

A Musical Confession to Be Given to My Father Upon My Possible Untimely Death

2009-04-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

I've always claimed my mother's taste in music, which, in a pinch, I would describe to someone as "she don't like no pussy music." She likes the Stones and Zeppelin, Hendrix and Dylan (don't for one second think you can claim Dylan is pussy music even if it's more poetic and thoughtful). She's pounded these things into my skull and I'll always be thankful for it.

My father, on the other hand, likes the lighter fare. He listens to some country, which I abhor. He's been known to like the smooth jazz, which I can't get behind. He even likes some Beyonce, which I won't even comment on.

My dad's musical taste has always been a not-so-inside joke between my mom and I, which I know eats at my dad.

But here it is. My confession that he may or may not ever get to see.

I listen to Bonnie Raitt because of my father. I like Bonnie Raitt. A lot. I just remembered this. I remember this one day when he took me to work with him in his red Mitsubishi sports car in 1991 and played a Bonnie Raitt record the entire way to Las Colinas. I listened to "Not the Only One," originally written by an Irish dude, like 25 times. True facts, I just listened to it another 25 times much to the chagrin of Lauren.

This is, of course, a microcosm of my main point. I have my dad to thank for the other side of me that loves the lighter stuff. The guy who loves Azure Ray, Tracy Chapman, and Billy Joel has Bill Warren genetics to thank. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Word life.

So, remember this, Dad, the next time I bust your chops for blasting Shawn Colvin in your car, remember that deep down, I'm closing my eyes and singing "Sunny Came Home" as loud as I possibly can.

But I'll probably call you a pussy.

"Not the Only One"
Bonnie Raitt

Those Days Have Long Since Passed

2009-04-22T09:03:00.000-07:00

All of a sudden, I totally miss my Dreamcast.

Maybe Pablo will sell mine back to me. I bet he doesn't even have it anymore. I think I can still get one on eBay for less than $50, though. I'll have to look into it if Pablo got rid of it.

Work has been weird. Yesterday they were convinced that they would have to take a bunch of people (including your favoritest person in the whole wide universe) down to part-time work. That was before we realized there was a glitch preventing customers from emailing us, so at about 3pm yesterday we got an instant 50 cases as opposed to the one-per-hour rate we were at for about a week. Not sure where everything stands now. I wish they were a bit more communicative. I would've liked it the email had gone, "Yeah you're definitely going on part time start on X date" instead of "So things have been busy busy busy and we might have to start scheduling people for part time work but who knows when that'll be YARGH."

Just tell me and expect me to comply.

Sometimes I long for corporate management, which makes my six-year-old self want to ram all of his Matchbox cars up his ass.

I've been reading a lot, a lot, a lot of Pictures for Sad Children, which is adding to the overall feeling of hopelessness in the work-related arena. There are days, like today, that I just tell myself over and over that no matter how graduate school goes my wildest dreams will always be about as unrealistic as hoping for the ability to eat and eat and never get fat. It did occur to me, however, that my wildest dream growing up is actually kind of an odd reality. Working for a gaming company I really respect and love was always something I kind of scoffed at in my head, but now I'm close, both geographically and in terms of work in the arena, to fulfilling that dream. It's neat, for sure, but I'll believe it when I see it.

And, let's be honest, when I see it, I still won't believe it.

"Bang! Bang!"
The Knux

Misery Inspires

2009-04-20T22:31:00.000-07:00

According to our big wig muckity mucks, last week was the slowest week in our company's history in terms of shipping orders. Not a great sign in any economy, but I suppose it's a bit more par for the course in the current economy.

That said, fuck being at work with nothing to do. Friday was worse, but Monday was pretty bad, too. I guess I should try to get some writing done if this persists. I just hate being at work and feeling like I can't do any other work -- probably because it would be kind of unprofessional to do other work at work.

Whatever.

I did get to listen to "The Royal We" by Silversun Pickups like 38 times, though. God that band is like heroin to me. And they are like the Pumpkins. So what? It's like the Pumpkins became totally irrelevant a few years ago and these guys picked up the torch. That's totally fine by me. Let Corgan write Green Day songs and film music videos in front of upside down American flags and these guys can play frantic bleak rock. Their new album, Swoon, kind of says "fuck off" to the slower stuff from Carnavas and Pikil and decides to just get right into the high energy songs about revolutions and mental breakdowns. It's thoroughly trodden ground, to be sure, but it totally works for me. "Panic Switch," the first single from the album, has a totally irresistible chorus. It's "The Royal We," though, that so firmly tugs on my senses like Lovedrug's "Blackout" five years ago. It builds into such a fantastic climax that it was a total joy just having it on repeat all day like some lunatic reading Catcher in the Rye for the 263rd time. Love it. I wrote "Silversun Pickups Rool" in my own shit on my computer screen before I left.

What?

I have a long story about seeing Vidhisha for the first time in half a decade, but I'd rather go to bed. Besides, I know at least two of you know the story already. Later, perhaps. Maybe if work doesn't go so well for the third day in a row.

Which is likely. Goodnight, my chickens.

"The Royal We"
Silversun Pickups

Pirates v. United States Navy

2009-04-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

I have to say, I would have been fucking stoked if, instead of hanging out in the Persian Gulf for the past week or so, my Naval officers had asked me, "Hey can you, uh, come chill off the coast of Africa for a few days and BLOW THE HEADS OFF OF SOME SOMALI PIRATES FOR US?"

I would be kind of jazzed about that.

"Life in a Northern Town"
The Dream Academy

Eleven

2009-03-04T22:10:00.000-08:00

Arya once got so drunk when we lived together in Sherman that, when asked when I should make sure he was awake in the morning, he responded by very loudly whispering the word "eleven" ten or so times. He would laugh and laugh each time. He didn't remember this.

Right? Is that how it went?

Anyway, I talked to someone much more drunk than that this morning. At my work. On the phone. Apparently this woman decided to get up from her bed in Bronxville, NY, have a fifth (or three) of Scotch, and call Despair to place an order for a few custom calendars. She rambled for a while about a woman on the phone who knew nothing about politics. She gave us her blessing to raise our prices if we needed to. She asked if "Enhancer" was a demotivator she could put on her calendar (it isn't.). She said "inevitabable" a few times. She told me she would talk to my supervisor about how outstanding I was on the phone. I passed on the offer.

America!

I don't want to work in customer service forever. Honestly, I don't want to work in customer service a day longer, but a job is a job and God knows how important that is right now.

I woke up this morning thinking about the day Marcia told our entire debate class that I had a crush on Celia -- in front of Celia. This was in Buenos Aires, of course. I also got into business school, in case you didn't know that, either.

Jesus.

Anyway, I think that day perfectly summed up the "suffering builds character" model so many nerds, geeks, and pariahs become closely affiliated with in their adolescence. I remember just weeks prior being approached by Marcia during a break between classes. I was looking out at the River like the emo bugger I was (AM!) when she sat down on a bench next to me.

She had this smug little grin on her face and flatly asked me how long it had been that I had a thing for Celia. I was surprised, I guess, but more defensive than anything. I think I asked her how she knew -- like it was some conspiracy, like my phone had been tapped or something. She said "It's so obvious." I guess I've never been good at hiding those kinds of things.

She asked me if Will, Celia's boyfriend and my very good friend, knew about this. And he did -- Marcia seemed to think that should be awkward or threatening, but truthfully Will was never threatened by this. I don't think he ever entertained the idea that I could be competitive with him. Can't blame him.

I was pretty terrified that Marcia would spill the beans, but she surprised me and ended up keeping the secret for a full two weeks before she wrote it on the white board in the middle of our debate class.

I don't think I ever really confronted Marcia about it after the fact, though this act convinced me of her hatred toward me. I think I still believe this, despite the fact that at one point I was speaking with her on the phone an average of an hour per night.

So yes, suffering builds character and all of that mess. Not that you asked. God knows you need another Buenos Aires story like I need another neuromuscular disorder/like Rhianna needs another elbow to her face/like Kanye West needs an extra mouth.

I just have so many dreams about the building, the school, that I start thinking about exactly what happened there. I can't figure out if it's the experiences that make me dream or if it's the dreams that make me think of the experiences.

This blog post was brought to you by my Xanga, circa September 2004. Holy Christ.

Sleep well! Elizabethtown soon!

"This Is Your Life"
The Killers

Amy's & Waits

2009-03-04T20:41:00.000-08:00

I do love the Amy's. If you don't try the Belgian chocolate, graham cracker, and marshmallow combination before you die, you haven't really lived at all. I also guessed the movie quote correctly, which earned me a free crush-in.

Apparently I made the guy feel awkward about telling me I was one of the only people who got it all day. He just said it because I'm in a wheelchair and I look unkempt.

Maybe.

Anyway, here's the quote (no cheating!):

"Peach...I could eat a peach for hours."

Something I've noticed about Amy's -- and other Austin businesses in general, for that matter -- is that they offer a high-quality product but a shit way of selling it. They let really ugly, sweaty, hairy stoners handle your (really delicious) ice cream and then they blast obscure Tom Waits music over the speaker system.

Two things that aren't appetizing are hairy stoners and Tom Waits music. Sure, there's a hip kind of charm to these things, but appetizing they are not.

In fact, when I start business school (did you guys know I got into an MBA program!?!?!?) I'm going to make it my goal to analyze the demographic that is attracted to sweaty hairballs serving Tom Waits ice cream.

"Way Down in the Hole"
Tom Waits

Snaggletooth

2009-02-18T21:46:00.000-08:00

Elizabethtown actually is the worst movie ever, isn't it?

Let's all get drunk and watch it, OK? Let's make it a thing we do.

"Only the Lonely"
The Motels

Great Moments in Asking a Girl Out

2009-02-14T22:06:00.000-08:00

5/23/03

John: So, do you wanna do something sometime?
Heather: Uh...sure?
John: OK, great! So, I'll call you sometime...
Heather: Sounds...good.

1/30/05

John: So, you know I like you, right?
Jennifer: Oh...
John: Well, I do.
Jennifer: *rejects John for an hour*

2/14/05

John: So, uh, I wanna ask you something, but I feel I'll be hitting you with an awkward truck.
Lauren: Uh, haha.
John: So are you ready for the awkward truck?
Lauren: Uh, yeah.

THIRD TIME'S A CHARM YOU ASSHOLE.

"More Than This"
Roxy Music

Braggy

2009-01-22T10:07:00.001-08:00

I'm updating at work. Pretty bored.

I got really tired of seeing that fucking snow post at the top.

Ugh, I'm such a whore for snow.

I got into graduate school -- if you read this blog you probably already know that. It's coming off as braggy now, isn't it? Well I'm happy, dammit. I'll try to post some meaningful links describing the program at some later point in time. In two and a half years I'll be the CEO of BioWare, though. Just watch me.

Just. Watch. Me.

"Fallen"
Lauren Wood

Lightning and Snow

2008-12-09T21:37:00.000-08:00

The evening of December 9th saw it snow in Austin. I'm not talking little flurries, I'm talking big, honking snowflakes.

People outside, taking pictures, running around with their dogs, talking about Christmas miracles, making excited phone calls, etc.

Of course it didn't last long, but while it did, it was fun.

I was listening to the radio in my car (not a frequent thing for me) and "Janie's Got a Gun" came on. Not my favorite, but I stayed with it. When Tyler says "lightning" a few minutes into the song, a bolt of lightning darted down from the sky on the horizon. SO AWESOME! NEW FAVORITE SONG!

OK I should get back to work on my grad school essay. I'm almost done, I swear!

"Dancing in the Dark"
Bruce Springsteen

Hurr Derr More Politics

2008-11-18T21:48:00.000-08:00

I won't say anything about the outcome of Prop 8 that hasn't been better said by Priya (hope you don't mind the shout-out), but I will repeat one of the ideas she raises. A lot of people who oppose gay marriage site the idea that if we let humans of the same gender marry each other, then that will undoubtedly lead to people wanting to marry goats, trees, postage stamps, Playstations, Astroglide, hairless cats, large jugs of moonshine, dildos, etc. If you claim this idea as your own, then you also claim the idea that gay men and woman are less human than straight men and women. Does that sit well with you?

OK, that's all.

I just watched SiCKO (yeah, I spelled it like that) again for the first time since seeing it in theaters a while back. Lauren hadn't seen it before. I think it's really Moore's finest work. I didn't like Fahrenheit 9/11 for various reasons. Bowling for Columbine had some great moments (I'm a huge fan of strict gun regulation -- the 2nd Amendment is vastly misunderstood in this country). I think SiCKO is pretty great from start to finish. However, I ultimately think it works better as an indictment of the US health care system than a glorification of socialized medicine systems in Canada, the UK, France, and Cuba. I'm not foolish enough to believe that socialized medicine doesn't come at a price in terms of high taxes and some way-of-life changes, but I do maintain the belief that we should try socialized medicine in this country. Our system, as it stands, is corrupt, broken, and misanthropic. The medical profession was never meant to be the cash cow it's become in the US. I'm hopeful that Obama will lean us in that direction before his first four years are done.

I'd love to know what everyone thinks about this. Reasons against socialized medicine resonate with me a great deal -- it's not like I'm completely sold on my stance. But yeah, I've heard good reasons for and against and it seems like something this country should be open to.

"Red Star"
Third Eye Blind

Long Live Jenkins

2008-11-10T22:19:00.001-08:00

Third Eye Blind has released a new single. Apparently, they have an EP coming out on November 18 called "Red Star." I suggest you check it out. Thanks to Mike for the link.

About the song: it's pretty political, which I usually give a big "herrrr durrrrr derpy derp" to. But, the lyrics are actually so dumb that I can't even fault the song for being too political. I really like the song, though. I also like the nod to M.I.A., naturally.

"Non-Dairy Creamer"
Third Eye Blind

Oh, Can We?

2008-11-04T21:19:00.000-08:00

Obviously I'm pretty happy about the country's choice of President, but what the fuck was Michelle Obama wearing?

I would also love to discuss this issue with you in person, but I'll offer the topic here. Sorry to be a downer, but can we talk about the race issue? People on TV are acting like racism is "so last season" now that Obama is the President, but does anyone actually believe that because the majority of America made an informed decision to elect a "black" (more on the quotes in a second) President that it means the end of racism in America? I hope as much, but I'm skeptical.

Also, the cynic in me wants to stand up and ask, "would America have voted the same way if President Obama had two black parents instead of one?" During this whole thing, people have labeled President Obama as "black" seemingly to bolster an argument either for or against him. It's so irrelevant, yet not historically irrelevant. I see the history here, I do. It's a pretty big deal -- obviously I don't have the personal context to see it as a huge deal, you know? I get it. I see the crying, happy faces and feel something for them, but not for the country, necessarily. I'm very happy for the people that feel warm and comfortable in the historical context of the election. It's a very cool thing.

But I am a cynic. He's not black. I want President Obama to be a historical President for reasons other than half of his genes.

I'm hopeful that America will get the race thing out its system because of President Obama and see him as a great man and a great leader for this country. I'm tired of the race thing from both sides.

I'm still struck by something Colin Powell said a week ago or so. He said what amounted to an indictment of people claiming that it would be some grand horror if Barack Obama was a Muslim. He basically gave a "so what" to the idea of having a Muslim President in America. Everyone on the news tonight, tomorrow, and five years from now needs to get a little perspective here. A "black," Christian candidate wins the Presidency and everyone thinks "anyone can do fucking anything they want to in America!!!!!!" We wouldn't give a Muslim candidate the time of day in this country. Nor a Buddhist, nor a Hindu, nor an atheist. We barely give Jewish candidates as much.

Let's pump the breaks. We finally elect someone who is half black. Way to fucking go. Now let's work on electing people who choose to be something other than the status quo in America.

This was a bit scatterbrained, I know. I don't for one second want to suggest I'm not elated about the result of this election. I believe John McCain is a good man and would've been a good leader, something that I know many of my peers don't believe, but I think President Obama is the kind heart and the big brain this country needs -- whether you see it now or not.

Though, if I'm right, I think most of my readers do see that. I don't want to assume as much, though. As far as I can tell, the rest of the world seems pretty happy about our decision.

And, I'm sorry if you don't like that I sometimes talk about politics. It can really be obnoxious, I know. I really want to not be obnoxious about it, though. I like talking about issues without getting all huffy and irritated.

Also, I can't believe I'm saying this, but hurrah for Carrie Underwood. If I see Oprah half taking credit for Obama's success one more time, I'm going to blow my brains out.

But yes, good job.

"Perfect Crime #2"
The Decemberists

Just A Question, Not A Judgment. I Swear.

2008-10-31T12:42:00.000-07:00

If you like the show 30 Rock, could you tell me why? I just can't get into it. Have I seen two bad episodes?

It might help to see the episodes in order. Maybe we're just not destined to be TV BFFs. That's OK. I want to like it, though, you know?

"The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room"
Flight of the Conchords

Middle of the Day, Lights On

2008-10-15T22:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Dead Space,

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. You are really scary, but I can't put you down. Stop scaring me, though. Seriously.

Yours forever,
John xoxoxoxoxo

"Got Friends"
The Jealous Sound

Different Kind of Hipster

2008-09-29T16:21:00.000-07:00

Surgery again. Yes, indeedy. I have to have surgery to fix dysplasia in my left hip. The socket isn't big/closed enough to house my femur. I suspected as much starting on Thursday morning last week when I got out of bed to find that I could barely put weight on my left leg. Even for a cripple, it was alarming. It kind of feels like how that guy who ran the marathon and then collapsed all awkwardly because his muscles stopped working looked. You know that guy?

OK, that wasn't it, but it made me laugh.

It just felt totally off. I went to the doctor today knowing full well what was in store. I don't need x-rays to tell me my hip is partially dislocated. Go figure.

Here's how getting my x-rays taken went:

Nurse: Just head in the door on the left.
John: OK, thanks.
Kooky Tech: Hi, there!
J: Hello.
KT: (supersonic mumble) Cnnnoostand?
J: What?
KT: Can you stand?
J: Oh, yeah.
KT: Great! (pause, to Lauren in supersonice mumble) Arrrrooooprgnt?
Lauren: What?
KT: (ss mumble) Anychcccceooooprgnt?
L: What?
KT: A-n-y c-h-a-n-c-e y-o-u a-r-e p-r-e-g-n-a-n-t?
L: Oh! No.
J: (laughing) That would be news to me!
KT: (covers John's ears, laughing) Are you pregnant?

He thought all of that was so funny. When I sat back down in my wheelchair he also said that, "you're like all of my old ladies, just plopping down like that!" God, what a card. After returning to the examination room, Lauren was quick to inform me that, while she couldn't really tell if my hip was out of socket from the x-ray, she could see my penis. Like totally, clearly, in all of its glory -- my wiener.

I didn't 100% believe it at the time. We'll come back to that. Then the doctor came in. We talked about my pain for a while and then the conversation turned to my past surgeries.

Doc: Who did your last osteotomy?
J: Doctor Herring at Scottish Rite in Dallas.
D: Tony Herring?
J: Yeah.
D: Oh great! I went to med school with his daughter.
J: Oh yeah? He's a good guy.
D: Yes he is.
J: He also did my scoliosis surgery.
D: (gets up and leaves without saying a word, leaves the door open behind him)
-
-
-
-
-
7 minutes later...
D: (comes back in)
J: Hey there.
D: (leans over Lauren, looks at GRE math book) You doin some math, there?
L: (pause) Yeah. I have the GRE tomorrow.
J: We're both really bad at math.
D: I'm doing Kumon with my kid right now -- we're doing stuff like 12 + 8 and I'm all banging my head against the desk.
J: Uh huh.
D: Right, so you have dysplasia in your left hip...

I can't really describe to you how amazing it was how he just fucking peaced out for seven minutes without saying a goddamn thing about it. Long story short, he referred me to some doctors at Southwestern that I'll need to get in touch with. If any of this sounds familiar to you, it should. I had hip dysplasia in my right hip when I was thirteen. The recovery from the surgery then was horrible, but it should be much less horrible this time around. Something about how my pelvis wasn't fully grown when I was kid and how I had to keep my hips stationary and blah blah blah medical shit blah blah blah. I'm just so fucking happy I won't have to be in bed for two months straight. I don't know when I'm having surgery, but it'll probably be relatively soon (long before the end of October, I'm guessing). I'll keep everyone posted, though.

The link I'm about to post is a Xanga entry I just created with the two x-rays after the jump. I'm serious about this: if you don't want to see what really amounts to my penis, ass cheeks, and scrotum in between at metal hip and a hip without a socket (pretty fucked up), then do not follow the link. I do feel weird about posting this, but I think it's very funny that x-ray technology today does involve the vague outline of one's genitals. If you're very creeped out that I did this and don't find the humor in it, please tell me. Seriously, it won't offend me. I think it's hilarious, though.

And here it is.

UPDATE: I took the most obvious one down. I'm such a wuss. I think the one that's still up is funnier, though.

"Bruises"
Chairlift

God, I'm Unoriginal

2008-09-24T19:31:00.000-07:00

Priya did it. Why shouldn't I? I love to watch myself write, I have nothing better to write about, and I frankly find myself daydreaming about making a room of snobby stage and screen students laugh with admiration on a fairly regular basis. So here goes:

Inside the Actor's Studio with John

1) What is your favorite word?
Daft. I love this word, especially when the Brits say it. I wish I could do a British accent as well as Hugh Laurie can do an American accent.

2) What is your least favorite word?
Moist. No joke. It really is my least favorite. Priya didn't even remind me of it or anything -- that's seriously my answer. What are you looking at?

3) What turns you on?
Being totally helpless with laughter. Ricky Gervais, Michael Cera, Steve Carell, or H. Jon Benjamin are usually involved.

4) What turns you off?
College students. I used to hate high school students, but I'd be that dumb too if I had fucking nothing to really worry or think about. Also, I'm sorry if you're reading this and are a college student. I might hate you, but you're probably an exception.

5) What sound do you love?
Really great videogame music. I know it's lame. I'd say something like "my very favorite band," but that's cheating, isn't it? I like the epic RPG stuff, but recently I've been really impressed with the old stuff. Mega Man music, the Mario theme, etc. I don't like the trend of twerps using 8-bit synth to write original music as popular music. You know? Just not my thing.

6) What sound do you hate?
The Amber Alert sound on the Dallas news stations. Seriously. It's about 21 seconds in and isn't very loud, but you'll get the idea. Fuck.

7) What is your favorite curse word?
I use "fuck" the most, but I have to say I think my very favorite is a simple "asshole." A good "asshole" is hard to find. A well-delivered "asshole" is just delightful. DON'T BE IMMATURE, PEOPLE.

8) What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
I would love to be a lead developer on a critically successful console videogame. I'd love to stand in front of the sweaty masses at E3 or such and really talk about a game I'm proud of and a game that people actually love. I'd like people to feel warm and nostalgic while playing my game. I'd like my game to be one of those games that, years later, sells for hundreds of dollars on eBay because so many people held on to their copies of it. You know?

9) What profession other than yours would you not like to attempt?
Airline pilot. Too much pressure. Too scared of flying. Bad, bad combination of things working there.

10) If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I've never liked this question. My mind's eye of heaven is more like a feeling than a place. Sitting around a fire during winter, Christmas lights, great TV show on, friends and family around, you know? I'm a massive sap, I know. It's just what I believe, OK? Thanks. But! If this scenario were reality, I guess I'd like it if God said, "Why so surprised? You have to do a lot more than making fun of ugly people to get sent to hell."

"Sex on Fire"
Kings of Leon

Um, Hello?

2008-09-19T22:04:00.000-07:00

I don't need to go on a crusade for women. They can do it a lot better and more convincingly than I.

However.

Ohhhhhhhhhh boy, however.

There's a show on E! called "Stars Without Makeup" that I really do need to discuss.

You can guess what the show is about -- tabloid photos are shown of celebrities around town without makeup on. I have a lot of problems with this.

1) I'm no advocate of the idea that celebrities are just like everyone else and don't deserve the kind of scrutiny they get. I don't believe that. I believe that most celebrities, most celebrities, are in the spotlight because they want to be in the spotlight. They get the attention they want. My opinion, whatever. However, I think the behavior of said celebrities should be fair game for scrutiny, but not whether or not Eva Longoria eats lunch with Tony Parker without makeup. She should be scrutinized for eating fucking lunch with Tony fucking Parker, but not the makeup she does or does not wear. Angelina Jolie eats her baby's placenta? OK, that's game for scrutiny, but if she doesn't wear makeup, who gives a shit?

2) I'm getting very tired of the "I Love the....." formula -- people we don't and shouldn't care about spouting off about the absolute zero of popular culture. I don't care how many cars the backup dancers from Danity Kane have. No one should. And female celebrities choosing not to wear makeup is just about the bottom of the barrel.

3) The pictures don't even look that bad, for the most part. Nicolette Sheridan isn't wearing a stitch of makeup yet still looks better than most women I see in a day. Same goes for Kristen Davis.

4) They use mugshots. They kind of gloss over the reason behind the arrest (just a little written blurb at the bottom) and say things like, "Uh, couldn't Mischa Barton [who looked great, anyway] ask the police officer for a second to put on some lip liner? Uh, hellooooooooooo?"

5) They talk about makeup like it's something someone can apply in less than 10 seconds. Anyone who has at least ever spoken to a woman who wears makeup will call shenanigans on this one.

6) Most of the women appear to be wearing some form of makeup. Most are wearing some sort of eye liner or foundation. It's just nit-picky bullshit.

7) We're now to my biggest two reasons. Most of the women are doing something more or less noble or important when pictured. Like Felicity Huffman, for example, was running in a marathon in LA on a Saturday morning and wasn't wearing makeup. Yet they crucified her. Julianne Moore was pushing her child in a stroller for a morning walk. No makeup. Crucifixion. But it doesn't even really matter what they're doing. If they don't want to wear makeup, don't wear makeup.

8) I don't care how gay you are. I don't care how into women's fashion you are. I don't care how many awards you've won for designing women's clothes. If you are a man, you should not be bitching about a woman not wearing makeup. Seriously, don't do it. Be a fucking man. Don't be a fucking weasely prick acting all catty about women who wear less makeup than you. You're not a fucking fashion icon because you wear sparkly glitter makeup around your eyes and Katie Holmes doesn't. You can't be serious going on television and complaining about people who don't wear makeup. Frankly it's not even relevant that I brought up the gay thing. It's not. It just happens that every man on this show moaning about it was gay. I'd like to think that not all gay men feel like they can critique women willy nilly. I can't see Tim Gunn walking up to Heidi Klum and saying some bullshit about how she needs to wear more liquid liner. She's fucking Heidi Klum. Know better than you do now, you bottomfeeding dickwads. Get some class, fellas.

I know I seem very surprised that this show exists. I don't know why. It's just a step down from Perez Hilton. And frankly, women shouldn't be bitching about other women not wearing makeup.

Jesus.

*Sigh*

I just had to discuss that.

"Electric Feel"
MGMT

Cowboys 41, Eagles 37

2008-09-15T21:01:00.000-07:00

Instant. Classic.

"Lost!"
Coldplay

Brainbustaaaaaaaaaaaaah

2008-09-11T17:43:00.000-07:00

How the Christ did I miss that Okkervil River released a new album?

Jeez.

"Lost Coastlines"
Okkervil River

The Bull Shit Party, Get It?

2008-09-03T20:24:00.000-07:00

I'm biased. I know. So bear with me.

I don't write about politics very often -- I'm not very good at it and I usually just end up getting huffy and weird. I feel compelled, though, to write about the perceived mindset of the common Republican voter.

I watched Rudy "I'll Exploit 9/11 Until the Day I Die" Giuliani's speech to introduce Sarah Palin with mouth agape. I don't understand the voter that listens to that speech (it was full of fear-mongering, fact twisting, sarcasm, etc.) and doesn't yell "HORSESHIT" at their TVs. I don't understand the voter that feels like living in the United States means you have to live in fear of "our enemies." I don't understand the voter that thinks that Americans are so far superior to the rest of the world that they don't think basic diplomacy and staying out of everyone's underwear will make all of us safer. I don't understand the voter that likes to make decisions based on fear instead of logic.

Then again, I don't understand anyone who doesn't believe in equal rights for all.

There is certainly snarkiness on the Democratic side. I know. I don't agree with that, either. I guess my issue is while the Dems seem more intent on making it known that they're willing to fiercely debate these issues, the Republicans seem intent on belittling the ideas of half the country.

I can't tell you how much bullshit that is. I find many Republican stances compelling, I do. My parents have raised me to be sympathetic toward conservative fiscalism. I truly believe the wealthy shouldn't be punished for making more. I don't. Doesn't make sense to me. But I'm a social liberal, through and through.

Jesus was a social liberal.

Buddha was a social liberal.

Everyone should be a social liberal. Fuck, I can't even really justify the "liberal" part of that phrase. What's liberal about rights for everyone in this country? It's just the way it should be.

The right to bear arms is the most misinterpreted Amendment in this country, but many conservatives feel that guns should be lightly regulated at best. Nobody studies social trends and politics simultaneously, it seems.

So Sarah Palin.

Like Bush, she seems like a woman I'd enjoy having a few drinks with. I bet she'd be a laugh riot. But are we really supposed to believe that the emporer of mighty Alaska is really more experienced than Obama? Shit, I don't even really care, to be honest. But since the Republicans are making experience just a big fucking deal, is anyone really listening to anyone saying the governor of fucking Alaska of two years has more experience than Obama when it comes to 90% of the things the President of the United States needs to know?

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here.

See, I'm getting huffy and weird.

I didn't like her tone. I didn't like her dismisall of half the fucking country. She summed it up nicely when she compared hockey moms like herself to pit bulls. Hmm, OK, let me try to get into the mindset of the voter that feels like it's fuck-me-sideways brilliant to put someone that brazen in the White House.

By the way, I've personally heard fierce supporters of this McCain-Palin ticket say things like, "it's called the White House for a reason."

I'm serious. And no, I don't believe that all conservatives are racists. I don't. Not by a long shot.

But there's so much misguided fear out there pushing for McCain-Palin it's making me afraid. That's not good, either. I've never felt like if the election goes in one direction and not the other we're all totally fucked. I know a lot felt like that four years ago, but I really didn't. Now I am. Now I'm convinced that we really have to do something drastically different and, more importantly, something smart.

Their fear is making me fear.

*Sigh*

Like I said, I'm not great when it comes to politics.

"Raspberry Beret"
Prince

Michael Palin

2008-09-01T22:11:00.001-07:00

I must briefly comment on the brilliant irony that is Sarah Palin's rigid stance on sex education in this country. Someone should ask her if abstinence education worked for her daughter.

Also, her? Really?

"Phantom Limb"
The Shins

So Long Johnson

2008-08-30T22:25:00.000-07:00

Chad Johnson legally changed his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco.

I wish people could write stupidity that pure.

"Fuck Tha Police"
NWA

Nickelbutt

2008-08-29T21:40:00.000-07:00

Is there a worse song meant to be taken seriously than Nickelback's "Photograph?"

Tell me.

"Ragged Wood"
Fleet Foxes

VB Dickbutts

2008-08-27T22:28:00.000-07:00

Question:

Do all video blogs suck or can there be exceptions? I think 100% of them I've seen are either ironically amazing or they just outright suck. Are all video bloggers dickbutts or have I missed a couple that don't totally eat it?

I'm curious for a few reasons. Also, should I ask more redundant questions in my entries?

Thanks!

One more thing, I think I might create another blog used solely for videogame shite.

Edit: That was quick.

"Woke Up Laughing"
Robert Palmer

Learning to Embrace the Self-Indulgent

2008-08-21T00:24:00.000-07:00

Our friend Jordan recently wrote that it's writing about the big events in life that comes off as silly (in so many words). There's nothing to say that hasn't been said or felt or experienced. It's hard to disagree with this assessment of blogging in general.

I'm tempted to concoct some grand entry about the wedding, and I may, but for now suffice it to say that things are more or less business as usual. I couldn't be more pleased with that fact.

Well, maybe that's not totally true. Things aren't business as usual, since the "as usual" part of the equation hadn't involved a curious kitten named Stella until now. Aside from this little fountain of happiness, things are definitely business as usual.

There are probably many things to say and many people to thank for the wedding. I hope I can show everyone my gratitude someday.

There are things to say about my state of mind in terms of employment, I suppose. I've yet to land a job, a (lack of) development that scares the shit out of me. When I spoke to my dad, he seemed to think I should take some time to try to finish and sell my scripts.

It all just sounds so funny to me -- foregoing employment opportunities to chase this incredible pipe dream. I suppose it's better to chase the dreams when you're young, right? I don't know. I can't wrap my mind around the idea of sitting here for months and refining these works to be scrutinized by God knows who.

I can't shake this feeling that I'm not cut out to be a 9-5 kind of guy. Maybe I need to find out that I'm not the script-writing kind of guy. Anyhow, I'm feeling this wave of creativity stemming from the wedding (presumably) and all of its finality and simultaneous sense of "everything is just beginning."

I have, in my mind's eye, this project, this overwhelming, overarching project, that will challenge me and make me mad with nostalgia. I have the perfect beginning and ending, and I want to share it with everyone.

Maybe that will be the way I can show everyone my gratitude for the years of love and support. Self-indulgent and selfless at the very same time.

"Lovers in Japan (Acoustic)"
Coldplay

The BA Reconnection

2008-07-26T23:45:00.000-07:00

I'm looking forward to this weekend's nuptials for many reasons, some obvious, some not so much.

Heh, I need to do the lame thing real quick and just say that I am really, really stoked to be marrying Lauren this weekend. I've been pretty (read: inhumanly) chill about all of this, but it's been hitting me harder and harder how big of a deal this is and, more importantly, how fucking excited I am about it. I just couldn't be happier about it.

Anyway, another cool thing about this weekend is who all will be there. Anyone who reads this will probably be there. Thanks, in advance.

I talked to Ryan Bargerstock this evening for a bit. He was one of my very best friends during my time in Buenos Aires. He's taking a break from underwater archeology studies in Mexico to be at the wedding. Apparently, he discovered some honest-to-goodness Mayan human bones the other day. Can't deny how cool that is.

I can't help but feel like the universe will explode in glorious rainbows and warm, puppy lights judging by the honest-to-god space aliens that are returning to earth to be at this thing.

It's a good thing.

We'll see if Will shows up. I hope he does. Dollars to donuts he shows up and gives me shit about not inviting Celia. I'd bet a fuck ton of money on that. All in good fun, I suppose.

"Electric Feel"
MGMT

A Genuine Three-Parter, Written Yesterday

2008-07-24T21:36:00.000-07:00

Part One: My Damned Car

My car quit working again tonight. It hasn't been working, really, but I've been able to fix it in odd ways (tricking it into thinking it was crushing a baby, resetting the system, having disillusioned Best Buy employees lift it for me, etc.). It just plain stopped for me tonight. If I see Corwin (our resident Handyman -- the one who calls me Tony Stark), I'll have him lift it for me before I go to Plano. Otherwise, I'm going sans wheelchair.

This is really cramping my style. I wanted to make an omelet tonight. I wanted to go get eggs, ham, mushrooms, milk, and cheese. This isn't too much for me to want, right? But no. I can't get my goddamn chair in the car, so I can't get my goddamn ass in Central Market.

Well, I could, but...Christ, it's complicated. Something about a fear of being trampled or stared at or being sighed at by people who move faster than I. Something like that.

I'll call the place in Mesquite tomorrow morning to see if they could fit me in this weekend. It won't affect my plans to see Step Brothers and The Dark Knight (again). Breakfast burritos tomorrow night. I'm definitely, definitely excited about that.

Part Two: My Review of the First Four Hours of Final Fantasy IV (DS)

For someone who has never finished the original 2D FF masterwork (it is, indeed, better than VI), I feel a little silly making such a big deal about the 3D remake. I played enough to know what the developers have improved upon and what they haven't.

I can remember the days before Final Fantasy XII, when FF games received more or less zero attention when it came to translating the Japanese originals into well-written English versions. FFXII was brilliant in terms of the vocabulary (save for their unreal pronunciation of "Marquis") used and the somewhat old-school, whimsical syntax changes. I loved it. It pleased me greatly to find that FFIV is similarly translated. Of course, the original translation was pretty piss poor (though the infamous "Spoony Bard" line is still gloriously intact) -- so I'm quite happy to see the remake lovingly cared for in the writing department.

The voice acting is a different story. It's not bad in the grand scheme of things, but it is slightly worse than FFX. That isn't great. The casting of Cecil is odd, too. His voice actor sounds like Tidus in serious mode. That isn't great. They nailed Kain, in my opinion. He sounds more or less like Maximus from Gladiator. Can't go wrong there. All in all, voice acting does not a great game make, so any gripes I have with that are somewhat irrelevant to my overall enjoyment of the game.

On the technical side of things, the graphics are very clean. Better than the remake of FFIII. Much better in a subtle way. The textures are cleaner around the edges. The animation in general is smoother. Good spell effects.

In the artistic arena, however, the graphics puzzle me. The DS, of course, is better for smaller character models, to be sure. However, the characters (more like FFVIII than FFIX) are almost universally dark, troubled, and mature. The "big head" aesthetic doesn't fit the characters whatsoever. It's easy to see why they opted for the caricatured look for the system, but I wish they had put more thought into proportioning the characters so they don't look like dwarves. I think they could've kept the small models without making them look like Timmy.

The battle system needs a faster default pace and more customization with the "auto-battle" system -- a great idea on paper, by the way. I'm not expecting an FFXII gambit system, but certainly more options than one would be great. I don't want my characters always attacking automatically if they're down to 10HP. Just doesn't make sense when I want to level, which seems to be the reason they put the feature in the game in the first place.

It's nice and difficult, though. They pumped the brakes a little on that front from the original, but it's still refreshingly tough.

They left the story untouched, for the most part. No big changes that I can see. They use an in-game engine for most of the cutscenes, which is fine by me. I stopped being blown away by FMV circa 2001, though i did enjoy the opening cinematic. With FF stories growing more complicated (not necessarily more complex, though), it does seem weird that they didn't insert transitional scenes between the gaps of gameplay and "big" scenes to make it feel a little more modern. You update the graphics, you update the gameplay, you update the sound, but you don't update the way the story is told? It feels a little behind the curve.

I'm enjoying the game, but it does beg the question: when is Square going to get around to remaking FFVII? I still can't get over the fact that some designers took the time to make a fucking tech demo, but they all had the gall to say that there were no plans to remake the game. If it's dated gameplay they're worried about, just use FFXII's example. I'd be 100% fine with that. Just get it done.

And that was my terrible review of FFIV. You didn't ask for it. You got it, though.

Part Three: State of the Heather Union

Why, oh why, John, would you be writing about Heather on this fine evening? I've seen her three times over the past seven days or so, twice yesterday. Things are fine from my end. They have been for years. Things have been great for me in general for the past few years.

Actually, I'll do the self-indulgent thing and explain the situation to my only ignorant (to this situation, silly) reader. Ah'em Priya. In case you care.

Maybe you don't.

THAT'S WHY IT'S SELF-INDULGENT!

Anyway, Heather is this girl I dated the summer between high school and college. She was my very first girlfriend. Isn't that cute? Things didn't work out for various, irrelevant reasons.

I wanted things to keep going, but did everything I could to be weird, uncomfortable, and passive-aggressive for about six months. I did a lot to potentially sabotage any friendship we had decided we wanted to have. We've been going in circles since then. I'm fine, she's weird. She's weird, I'm fine. There was a long time where we were both fine. That all kind of changed when Lauren and I got serious. Like "engaged" serious.

Things have just been a little strained. Maybe that's not even the right word. They're just uncertain. I mean, I'm fine. I have no problems with much of anything anymore. It's funny what impending marriage does to your overall view of life. I'm a pretty carefree, happy guy. Heather seems a little less so. Maybe that's just me being hyper-observant.

Maybe if the roles were reversed and Heather was getting married while I was on my eighth or ninth girlfriend since our breakup, I'd feel a little off, too.

I've decided I won't go into specifics, but during the time we spent together this past week, it's clear to me (I think) she's a little weirded out by all of this. I don't know if that's "me-specific" or specific to the idea of getting married in general. Specific in general. Jesus, John. Anyway, I kind of get why she was so resentful of me when I was all weird and shit after the breakup.

Perspective.

Eh, I grow more cautious the more I write. I'm not even that upset about any of this and none of it's really confirmed anyway.

Just a hunch I got.

"L.E.S. Artistes"
Santogold

The Mysterious Stranger

2008-07-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

I just need everyone to know that this exists and that I want to shake the hands of the people who made it.

It is part of this, and based on this, one of Mark Twain's unfinished works.

Um, yeah. Please watch and understand that things will not be the same after you do.

Also, I just got this in the mail today. Color me excited.

"Dancing in the Dark"
Bruce Springsteen

An Interesting Time for Gamers

2008-07-15T22:41:00.000-07:00

It is. I'd say 2008 is shaping up to fall just below what 2007 ultimately was, but I'm still very excited about the rest of 2008. E3 isn't technically over yet, but all other games yet to be announced or spotlighted are likely to be 3rd party borderline titles -- i.e. games that will either be just fine, mediocre, or plain terrible. There are exceptions, I'm sure, but this is how it usually pans out.

I watched all three press conferences today. Nintendo's and Sony's were live, Microsoft's was from yesterday.

I have to say, I was extremely impressed with Sony's presentation until I watched Microsoft's. It became very apparent to me that FFXIII's exodus to greener pastures is going to hurt Sony quite a bit -- more than I originally expected. Xbox seems to be cornering the Nintendo niche without forsaking the "hardcore gamer." I'm not sure I like the phrase "hardcore gamer" to describe anyone who likes their games with narrative, complexity, and depth, but we'll use it anyway since I'm hard-pressed to find a better descriptor. I may not like the exclusives and the "hardcore" games Xbox has lined up, but they'll sell like nobody's business. The avatar system and the new Xbox Dashboard pretty much even them up with Nintendo and Playstation in terms of overall presentation (though I am still partial to the minimalist PS3 dash). Sony seems a great distance away from putting a date on Home, which isn't great news for PS3 fans. The movie/TV rental/purchase system for PS3 is impressive (especially since they announced it today and it's already up and running as I write) but suffers from a thin library when compared to the Netflix system on Xbox.

I think connectivity options with the PSP and the fact that they offer HD titles give Sony the edge here, but it's not by much when all is said and done.

What I want to see -- what Jeremy and I want to see -- are old-school remakes that are Sony exclusives. We're talking Road Rash, Battle Arena Toshinden, Final Fantasy titles of the past, Vagrant Story, Jumping Flash, etc. Nintendo can update their titles. 3rd parties (poorly) update their titles. Sony should get their hands on these IPs and run with them. Spend some money here. They love doing it already, why stop now? Make the PS3 the gaming powerhouse you know it can and should be.

It will hurt them not to have exclusive FFXIII. It'll hurt because GTA4 sales for PS3 paled in comparison to GTA4 sales for 360. It'll hurt because Madden for 360 will probably outsell PS3 Madden by a 3:1 margin or something like that. When games show up on both consoles, people flock to 360, and that's bad business for Sony, great business for Microsoft, and wonderful business for the developer of the IP.

There's such an emphasis on innovation in peripherals when developers by and large are forgetting how to make wonderful games to go along with the innovation. Little Big Planet looks like pure magic and I really can't wait to get my hands on it. Sony announced an MMO action game that promises 256 players in a game at one time. I think we're righting the ship a little bit from this "Nintendo-centric" world we're in right now. I think it's funny how the once-saviors of the videogame industry (and financially, they still are) are now public enemy number one for anyone who gives a shit about really well-made games.

Don't get me wrong, I think the last Zelda and Mario IPs are fantastic and stand up incredibly well against games with better graphics, sound, and replayability on other systems. But, for the most part, Nintendo is only interested in coming out with little tech demos for their motion innovations. It's cool shit, but the rest of the industry seems positive they should follow suit and make everything about accessibility when quality is being forgotten.

It did make me happy to hear that no one thought Nintendo's familiar song and dance at E3 was a good thing. Wii Music looks exactly as lazy as what I was talking about earlier. Shaun White Snowboarding was a massive flop. These peripherals are cool, for sure, but developers should take some time to make sure the games that go along with them are fun beyond a "honeymoon" period.

I'm jumping around, I know.

Let me summarize by saying this: I like what Microsoft is doing from a business standpoint. They're making their product more accessible without jeopardizing their core market. They want a piece of the pie without forsaking the thing that brought them to the dance. Sony, while I'm impressed with how they stand up to everyone else now more than ever, seems to be responding to Microsoft by mimicking their actions. I think this path makes them less likely to stand out to developers and, subsequently, gamers. I think they should focus on making exclusive IPs that really pop in the market. Of course, this is risky because they could lose a whole lot of money, but maybe this is the next paradigm shift. Nintendo seems to think they're the Messiah of the gaming industry -- they thought the same thing in the mid-90s, too, when Sony, at that point not a developer of videogames, shoved the industry on its ass with the release of the Playstation. I wish Sony would quit worrying about Microsoft and Nintendo and start making game after game after game that make people realize why they started gaming in the first place. They could be forced out of this race doing this, much like Sega was, but I've always had a very, very soft spot in my heart for Dreamcast and Saturn.

And maybe that will be Sony's legacy, but I wish they wouldn't sell out this much to keep up with people who are losing sight of what gaming was and what it should be.

"Spirits in the Material World"
The Police

Our Final Fantasy Condolences

2008-07-14T23:50:00.000-07:00

I'm up late mainly because I've been reading about all things E3. I'm excited that I don't have a job for at least one day, seeing as I can watch all of the press conferences tomorrow.

Yes, I'm excited about press conferences. I'll definitely have to be up in time for Sony's conference, but that shouldn't be much of an issue. Nintendo probably won't do anything too surprising, though I've read a rumor about a sub-$100 DS that's even smaller than the Lite. That would be cool. I think my mom officially owns my old DS. I'm sure I could get it back, but from what I understand she's really digging it. Maybe I can convince them to get me one.

Oh, to be young again.

I just have to be able to play the remake of FFIV. It's out on the 22nd, I believe. I still have a copy of The World Ends with You that I haven't been able to play. I hear good things about that. Even from what's his face at Zero Punctuation.

I guess the big news of the day (for me, at least) is the fact that FFXIII is no longer a PS3 exclusive. I own both the PS3 and 360, so it's not like I have a horse in this race, but I feel bad for the PS3. MGS4 sold like hot cakes at launch but I don't think it has staying power. I think it's a forgettable exclusive for PS3. Besides, what's stopping Konami from porting the latest installment to Microsoft's console in a year? They've done it in the past. I could probably write a novel about what's wrong with MGS4. It's not a bad game, but there are that many problems with it. Kind of makes it a special game. So many things wrong but still enjoyable.

Anyway, I think Little Big Planet looks awfully good for a PS3 exclusive, but I'm worried about the console as a whole. We should find out more about Killzone 2 tomorrow, but PS3 is hurting for a big-time exclusive. FFXIII could've been that exclusive. It should've been exclusive. I have a soft spot for playing FF games on a Playstation console. It's just a natural thing. XBox doesn't scream "JRPG" to me. Playstation seems so perfect for the hardcore gamer to spend 100+ on JRPG goodness. The latest trailer definitely shows more, too. Maybe not as much as I had hoped, but the only glimpse of the FFXII world outside of Rabanastre, the beach, and the Salikawood happened very close to its release back in 2006. 360 can have Gears of War 2. They can have Halo 1-25. Playstation and FF are PB & J.

Two games I don't give two shits about: Fable 2 & and Too Human.

One game I give twenty shits about: Fallout 3. My goodness. My only issue is people are gibbing over a headshot? Maybe that's how Fallout and Fallout 2 rolled, but it feels dated to me. Maybe they'll tone it down before release. I stopped "oohing and ahhing" over gibbing (unless it's grenade-related) about the time Unreal Tournament was released.

UPDATE: I think I realized that the demo I saw had the perk, "Bloody Mess," activated. That's why an enemy gibbed when shot in the head. Makes sense.

"Second Best"
Barenaked Ladies

Favorite Songs Part 1: Viva Las Vegas

2008-07-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

No, not Elvis. Don't worry. I haven't totally lost my mind.

What's that? Shut up. Elvis sucked and you know it. It's a haymbuhguh.

He did, though. Yes, yes, yes, he's a pioneer, sure. But saying you like Elvis now is like saying you like Ric Flair's later work.

What? That went over your head, too? I know it didn't go over Jeremy's head. Which might be all that matters.

OK, well I don't like Elvis so that's the point.

Anyway!

Shawn Colvin, an Austinite by way of Ohio or some other fucking place, recorded a version of Elvis's hit about his love for Sin City. The song was used during the credits of The Big Lebowski.

Not the first song. Keep listening until you hear the voice of the girl that did "Sunny Came Home" like twelve years ago. You know? That song with the woman on the swing? They played it on VH1 every five minutes back in the day. That and "As I Lay Me Down to Sleep" by Sophie B. Hawkins.

As opposed to Elvis' version, this version is menacing, sad, and much, much more melodic. Of course, she does the thing I hate where the cover artist changes gender so he/she doesn't sound gay. I think that's dumb. Just me, though.

I forgive her, though. I think this version of the song is really beautiful. Kind of haunting in this really specific way, too. Y'all might the hate the way she says "viva," especially if you're turned off by Claudio Sanchez or the lead from Rush. She's a little raspier, though.

Love it, though. Give it a listen. It's hard to find for download unless you're a shithead and steal music. Like I did. This once. Maybe more than once.

What?

"Viva Las Vegas"
Shawn Colvin

Nigerians, Italians, Backwoods, and the Like

2008-07-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

You know what movie is surprisingly unfunny? This is Spinal Tap. I laughed at all the things I had already seen: "this one goes to 11," the tiny Stonehenge, and the pod that didn't open. All funny. The cucumber wrapped in foil made me laugh. A few other things did, too, but for a feature-length movie the laughs were way too sporadic. Also, just in case you didn't know, Christopher Guest is apparently the most terrible bastard on earth when he must be interviewed for anything. I don't have any evidence here, but I've read it in a few places that at this point in his career he's a total cock during interviews. He also hates the term "mockumentary," but at the same time refuses to come up with another term for it.

He's also said that being funny isn't what he is, it's what he does for a living.

So apparently he's the antithesis of comedy. Makes me sad for someone who's made some funny stuff. Sorry he thinks comedy is total bullshit outside of a film.

Anyway, Rampvan update? Rampvan update.

I went to Hutto again the day after I wrote the previous post. They seemed upset that I was still having the problem, so good for them. I had a different technician than Little Bill the second day -- I couldn't shake the feeling that Little Bill felt really awkward about not fixing my car in the first place. I also can't shake the feeling that it's not at all his fault, that there's a deeper problem involved, but I felt like if I told him that without any prompting that would've opened up a huge opportunity for him to do this uncomfortable song and dance in front of all the waiting customers.

I just figured avoid it at all costs.

Good story, I know.

Sharon, the receptionist, struck me as intelligent, though she used some of the worst grammar I've heard a person over the age of 40 but under the age of 70 use in a long time. Kind of a shame. She was nice, though, which at times like these is really the only thing that matters.

I was the only person in the waiting room on day one, but on day two things were very different. The most uninteresting in attendance was a woman, about age 40, who was getting her van's lift repaired for her son, who I eventually found out had pretty bad CP and couldn't drive himself. She was nice, kind of a hick, but nice.

The uninteresting turned to interesting very quickly. In walk three people. One was a really, really plain, frumpy lady with a really bad limp and really orthopedic footwear. Just about as unfuckable as possible.

I know that sounds horrible, really, really horrible, but if you saw what I saw you'd know what I meant. She wasn't ugly or really unpleasant to look at or anything, but she was totally unsexy. Just the least sexy person I've ever seen. Hard to explain and maybe I'm the fucking worst, but whatever. It is what it is. She was accompanied by two elderly Italians, a man and wife, who spoke enough English to get by. The couple sat next to the first hick lady and the frumpy girl sat next to me. I listened in on their conversation and began to think they were the frumpy girl's parents, but then she referred to them as "visitors," which definitely made the quiet Italians seem mysterious and powerful from there on out. The man turned to me at one point and asked what was wrong with my car. I told him, and he asked some questions that amounted to me repeating the original story a few times to the point that I considered changing the story a little with each retelling.

That would've been rude, though. These people didn't deserve that.

I wanted to tell them that I really enjoyed their country, but I always assume compliments coming from Americans about a foreign country always come across as "Gee golly I sure did think that there McDonald's outside the Vatican was damn tasty! Couldn't believe they didn't have the McRib, though. Only in America, only in America..."

So I skipped all of that and asked about their problem, which was really only the frumpy girl's problem since they were "only visitors." It was a similar problem. She used a scooter to get around when she wasn't limping all over the place. Their problem got fixed extremely fast, which made me a little angry/frustrated. Can you blame me? I had already been there for an hour and they had been there ten minutes.

I didn't show my anger, though. Counterproductive at that point.

Frumpy and the Italians left, leaving me there with Hick Lady and Sharon. Well, in stroll in a 25-or-so-year-old-man with CP and his 6'5" Nigerian assistant named Mike. CP Man had a very specific white trash aesthetic. Bold polo shirt, baggy, deep blue jeans, two large gold earrings in both ears, Casper-white tennis shoes, and meticulously cropped facial hair.

Let's back up a second. CP Man has really bad CP, OK? Get it? He's got the inward-folding hands, no use of his legs, and frequently-strained speech. It makes sense that he has an assistant, sure, but meticulously trimmed facial hair? Someone had to do this for him. I guess there are either: people out there who would do anything for money or people who would do anything out of the kindness of their hearts. I'm hoping the second, but Mike the Nigerian would suggest the former.

The Nigerian had a laptop with him, which he used whenever he got a moment. These moments didn't occur with any frequency, because CP Man had to have The Nigerian take his iPhone out of his pocket and make phone calls to various people.

The man with useless fingers has a phone operated almost universally by touch.

Okie dokie.

He had a Bluetooth headset, too, which he couldn't operate because he couldn't lift his arms to his ear.

I'm straddling a line here between thinking this guy's a total douchebag and being impressed with his apparent refusal to think inside his own tiny box. I leaned toward douchebag until I learned that he's the head of some kind of disability group that plans events for local cripples. Nothing I'd be interested in, mind you, but it's certainly a cool thing for a lot of people who need it. So less of a douchebag -- and besides, if I had to have someone do just about everything for me I'd want it to at least be fun for him. The Nigerian had a Bluetooth headset and iPhone to fool with.

He also had to help CP Man pee, too.

Less cool thing to work with.

While CP Man and the Nigerian were there, the Backwoods Family entered the scene.

Mr. Backwoods was a man in his 70s with no legs.

Well, he had less than no legs. He was an honest-to-goodness egg of a man. His legs were not stubs, his legs were nonexistent. He was a weeble-wobble. He was Dr. Robotnik. He was a little wooden Russia doll with eight duplicates inside of him. Get it? He was rotund and sans legs.

His wheelchair was held together with tape. Medical tape. He was wearing an A&M hat (what did you expect?), old blue jeans tucked under himself, and a button-up farm-looking shirt. Mr. Backwoods was accompanied by Mrs. Backwoods. Mrs. Backwoods, no shit, was as close to a man posing as a woman (or maybe vice versa) as I've ever seen. Cut six inches off of her black, greasy hair and she was a living, breathing man about town. Her voice was lower than 80% of the men I know. I'm not exaggerating. I'm really not. Mr. B talked to Mrs. B like a husband would a wife, with many "sweethearts," "honeys," and "babes." However, it was later revealed the he is her uncle, but maybe not a biological uncle.

It was confusing.

This was one of their conversations:

MR: Well, ya know I think the best place I ever had deer sausage was there at the uh...
MRS: Oh the festival in Haltom City?
MR: Yes ma'am, the festival in Haltom City. That's where it was. Great deer sausage.
MRS: I ruhmember that. Though I think I remember having great sausage close to here once.
MR: Oh, in Taylor?
MRS: Oh yeah, in Taylor. I think it's great there.
MR: Ehhh, I dunno. They used to be good when theys were making sausage for them and them only and not the rest of Texas. Ya know?
MRS: I think it's good.
MR: Well, alls I know is I don't like the red wieners.
MRS: I ain't never liked the red ones.
MR: I don't e'en know what's in them red ones.
MRS: Maybe some kinda special deer. I dunno.
MR: I reckon so.

Here was another one:

MR: Well my daddy was a bootlegger.
MRS: Was he really?
MR: Yes he was. He had a successful farm until the Depression and then he had to bootleg to get by since nobody wuhn't buying nothin from the farm.
MRS: That's amazin.
MR: He made that there corn whiskey. He made big batches of that corn whiskey in a bathtub in the main house. They used this special corn and when it fermented...they call it "sour feed."
MRS: Is that right?
MR: Yeah, and sometimes they'd mix up the sour feed with the reg'ler feed and the chickens would get drunk.
MRS: Nah-ah!
MR: Oh yeah. One time...he had this rooster...and one time the rooster got so drunk on that sour feed he leaned back to crow in the mornin and fell right back on his rear.

Simply. Amazing.

They also talked about learning the banjo. Mr. B didn't care for the sound of the banjo but plays his "Ghee-tar" with some frequency. He gets magazines where can order his instruments since he "doesn't know nothin about the computer business."

Have we forgotten The Nigerian? Nope. We haven't.

At some point, the Backwoods Family got to talking about gas prices and what its doing to Mrs. B's trucker husband. Mrs. B used to be a trucker, by the by. The Nigerian breaks into a diatribe about how Americans aren't idealogically cohesive enough to do something about gas prices like collectively take a day off work to protest gas prices like some communities do in the UK. He said many things of the hypocrisy of Americans complaining but never taking collective action against the government in protest.

Now, these things The Nigerian spoke of, I don't really disagree with them.

But, given the company, I knew this would be bad. And it was. Not in a climactic way, but it was bad. The Backwoods Family commented briefly about how gas prices were bad and maybe the new elections would bring some change on that front. And then the changed the subject. Very quickly. The Nigerian wasn't done and wanted to talk more about it, heatedly, but I kind of pushed the conversation in a different direction with the Backwoods Family because I knew the poor guy would've been decapitated had this gone on any longer. Kind of a shame, but the Backwoods Family was looking more and more uncomfortable with each passing set of commentary.

It was the kind of hypocrisy the Nigerian was talking about.

And, the car didn't get fixed. Again.

"Get Innocuous!"
LCD Soundsystem

Let's Talk About Benito Mussolini

2008-07-01T17:50:00.000-07:00

I got bored with yesterday's topic. I might get unbored, but for now we're moving on.

Let me tell you a story about my van and the people involved with making my van one of the most inexplicably fucktacular pieces of machinery in the history of man.

I got my first car back in high school. It was a Chrysler Town & Country (is there a dumber name for a car? It might as well be called the Chrysler Cigar Aficionado) -- I forget the year. It was champagne-colored because it was the only one on the lot that I could have immediately instead of waiting upward of two months for some factory to ship it to Texas. The car was fine, really. I had some good memories in that car. Making out in the back seat (it happened once or twice, I swear to 8lb, 6oz Baby Jesus), almost fucking killing someone in a Chili's parking lot, and driving with the hydraulics broken, making every speed bump a perilous crapshoot. It served me well for the most part. I can't recall a moment when the ramp failed. It was clanky and squeaky and was definitely an eyesore, but it was my eyesore.

The car just required too much maintenance for me. After a few years I decided I wanted a smoother ride -- a car that was less of a hassle. So I "upgraded" to a Toyota Sienna, a move that I thought got me closer to having a Lexus. Stupid. I know. Just because they share a same parent company doesn't mean they both make cars that can suck your dick while making your favorite beverage McGyver-style using pocket lint and antifreeze.

Duh.

I'm being unfair. The car itself is probably just fine. It's the conversion of the car into a "Braun Rampvan" that's turned the universe on its head and penetrated its earhole.

The factory used to be in Arizona, where they presumably churned out buttery-smooth car after buttery-smooth car, but they had to close that factory down I'm sure because of some kind of child labor violation or kiddie sex dungeon scandal. Regardless, they opened up shop in Indiana the week I decided to get a new car.

I'm sure this is how it went over there in Indiana.

Supervisor: Oh hey, we just got an order in for an 06 Sienna with a side ramp conversion.
Plant Worker: But we just opened up shop!
S: So?
PW: I had plans to take it easy this week and worship Benito Mussolini in my spare time.
S: Oh yeah? I hear great things about this Benito Mussolini guy.
PW: Yeah, he was a totally great guy -- really misunderstood.
S: Great, let's go kill some sugar gliders and worship Mussolini together.
PW: Can we round up some heroin get some tranny hookers first?
S: I thought you'd never ask!
PW: We'll leave the malevolent, autistic badger here to build that stupid Sienna Rampvan!
S: And how!

Just speculating. I think I'm right, though. This is all evidenced by the fact that my ramp works 46% of the time, which, if you're figuring this out at home, means I can't go fucking anywhere 54% of the time. I'll put on my "EQUAL RIGHTS FOR CRIPPLES" hat here for a second and say that we have a fucking right to be independent people if we have the physical means to do so. The physical means, in my case, are a functional vehicle and wheelchair ramp.

If this is too much to ask, then tell me. Really. I mean it. Has the technology that has given us Playstations, rocket ships, iPhones, pocket pussies, Bose stereo equipment, GPS systems, robots that perform surgery, and man-made black holes from Switzerland really left wheelchair ramp cars in the dust? Have we forgotten the little people here? The little crippled people?

Hell, years ago I was thinking how cool it'd be to have a hoverchair or something like that. But now, I find myself begging, begging, for a car that has a ramp that lowers and then raises again. It's a fucking Erector Set in a car. Ya Ya from The Sandlot could build a fucking Rampvan. Why can't these people in Indiana do the same thing?

It doesn't help that no one knows what the fuck to do with it. Everyone who touches it says they fix it. They don't. I mean today was a great example. They were super nice in good ol' Hutto, but Little Bill (there's a Big Bill, FYI) got the ramp to work fifteen consecutive times and told me he found no problems. "I just reset the system," he said. Thanks, Little Bill.

I then told him that I just knew that the second I got home it would break again.

And folks, it was one of those things...one of those things where I said something out of amusement rather than actual clairvoyance. I had the confidence that "resetting" the system would fix things. Hell, the fuckos in Mesquite replaced the whole engine days ago, so I thought that was it. Just reset the new engine and I'll be golden.

Little Bill and I had a fantastic laugh over the idea that it would break again and I was on my merry way back to Austin.

And I got home. I got home and decided to go out for a ride. Decided to go out to the bank, maybe swing by Best Buy to see if they have Mario Kart for Wii, who knows? Big day. Hell, it's my birthday, I figured I should treat myself to a DVD or a sandwich or something. But nooooooo.

I'm...I don't know. I don't know how it could be that complicated. I mean I would be a shit engineer. I know that. I don't know anything about it, but honestly, it seems like a pretty simple mechanism. It's a drawbridge. Pea-brained serfs built drawbridges. Are we nothing but pea-brained serfs? I hope not.

So yes, I rambled about my van. If you're not Lauren you probably don't have all the information you need to understand how fucking dumb this is, but hopefully I've filled in enough holes for you.

I'm going to sign off, make some Chicken and Dumplings for birthday dinner, and send one of my BMs to Indiana.

"So Long"
Rilo Kiley

About My New Old Dreams

2008-06-30T23:24:00.000-07:00

I've always had vivid dreams. Anyone who's known me for more than five years knows that I have vivid dreams. They used to wear me out, but now they serve to do little but remind me of different times. They used to make me think about deeper meanings of things, but now they clarify the idea that things are only as deep as we want to make them.

Things are just more pleasant now. I still dream of the same things. I rarely have a dream I haven't had before. They usually involve the strife involved with teenage love or lust or obsession or some such -- you know, the ones with Marcia doing an interpretive dance of Jewel's "Hands" the same night Celia gave some speech to the 8th grade class about how friends are so important to her and never mentioned my name once. Or better yet, the ones where I take two girls to a formal dance and never pay attention to them as I watch Celia's every move. Sometimes I still have the ones about Heather's cold rejection in the aftermath of our relationship with the bleak, grey skies above. I have scattered dreams from college years, too, but they're less intense. I used to be so tired after these dreams.

The cool thing is that in each of these dreams I have a companion now. Maybe that's what makes everything more pleasant. Lauren's just a spectator, too -- she never interacts with anyone. She just sits there, next to me, watching my every social disaster. I don't think it's that deep. When I think of "me," I think of two people now. Maybe that's what love really is: when you get to the point that you don't separate yourself from that other person. Well, maybe that's what love really is to me.

I still experience the negative emotions in the dreams, but when I wake up I'm not stressed about it. It's fascinating to me.

I'll try explaining it within the context of one of the dreams when I'm less dead-tired. I have to drive to Hutto tomorrow. Woohoo!

Oh, it's my birthday. Weird.

Also, speaking of nostalgic dreams, I'm finally getting serious about this TV pilot. What's that? You don't know about that because I never tell anyone anything? Silly me.

"Inner City Pressure"
Flight of the Conchords

Serious Business, People

2008-06-20T16:29:00.000-07:00

I am quite perplexed that, despite seeing the likes of the Grape Lady and the Falling Model Video, I find Serious Cat to be the funniest thing on the Internet.

I just can't stop laughing at it. He's been around forever, sure, but it's only been recently that I've become obsessed with his little, stone-cold serious face.

Anyway, Matt and Jeremy are coming down this weekend. It might be a laugh riot. We're seeing Goldfinger at Master Pancake Theater on Saturday night. That ought to be excellent. Hopefully I'll get to ride that shit-terrible elevator at Alamo. Remember that, Shelley? Remember yelling down at Lauren and I as we went .000000001 feet per minute down that long shaft? I do. I remember.

I'm making a little headway on the job front. I'm applying to a marketing position at Accenture's Austin office. Yep. Accenture. I'm OK with it because I'd be working in a department my dad and his cohorts have/had nothing to do with -- but yeah I'd probably have some pretty good references.

Not holding my breath, though. I'm meeting with a woman next week that should be able to help me narrow my search a bit. Every little bit helps, I guess.

OK, I did forget about this. Not as good as Serious Cat, but it's pretty good.

Camp Rock is pretty bad so far. Yesssssss.

"Breakin"
The Music

Cheelitism

2008-06-15T22:32:00.000-07:00

I'm hoping to have some photos of the new place up (either here or on Facebook) sometime tomorrow. I ate dinner at 11:30pm tonight. Why? Don't know.

But yeah, fuck living somewhere that doesn't have a Whole Foods or Central Market less than an hour away. I don't know how I lived in Sherman for five years. Call me an elitist, but there's something about paying $9 for a pound of cheese that makes me feel better about the world.

Maybe I'm just a cheese elitist. A cheelitist?

Yep, a cheelitist.

I need to call Charles and Kelsey this week to do something. This past weekend was hell of hectic. Glad Gillian's alright, for sure. Glad about our wedding gifts. What? I mean everyone should get married once for the gifts. Seriously. Even if you're totally against the institution or something like that. Just try it. I had no idea what I was getting into, but it's undeniably nice. I hope I'm half as generous with love and support (both tangible and otherwise) as everyone's been so far.

"Cold Girl Fever"
The National

Best Laid Floorplans

2008-06-08T00:28:00.000-07:00

It's been asked of me for a while, so I'm updating. I tried sleeping, but I couldn't. Doesn't happen to me often but sometimes I don't feel like laying around until I feel like falling asleep. So, here I am, up and about.

I've been playing with the layout editor on Triangle's website. I think I've come up with two decent ideas. OOH, I think I just figured out how to attach the files. Here goes nothing...

I'm pretty sure that'll look like utter shite, but what do I care? I'm up way too late, anyway.

The big difference between the two is the living room. Which do you envision more? Answer me, dammit!

Jeremy's place is pretty wicked. I would bet a large sum of money that Triangle and Trinity Bluff are owned by the same people. I should investigate. Had a nice little workout from Jeremy's place to Mi Cocina. German engineering is fucking dumb as far as I can tell looking at the rolling disaster that is my wheelchair. Christ.

Ratatouille actually made me extremely happy after seeing it for the second time. It made me want to open a bistro in Paris, for sure. That reminds me, somewhat tangentially, that I need to make reservations for the honeymoon. Harlem's famous chicken and waffles won't reserve themselves, right? Right!?

Also, watch The Wicker Man at least four times before you die. It's so fucking worth it. Funniest movie I've ever seen -- I'm not even exaggerating. Not one bit.

Am I crazy or is Forgetting Sarah Marshall one of the better movies you've seen in a long, long time? It drills into your brain in the nicest way.

And! Eagle vs. Shark is about as bad as you thought it would be. That girl isn't as hideous as the trailer made her look (this is years ago, mind you, in case you have no fucking idea what I'm talking about), but it is about as unfunny and painfully "indie" as it looked in the trailer. It's like someone saw Me, You, and Everyone We Know and thought, "Gee, let's just make the characters totally unsympathetic and give them hilarious Kiwi accents." AND, nothing about trading poop back and forth (it's worth it for that scene alone, seriously -- Me, You, and Everyone We Know, that is).

That reminds me, in Flight of the Conchords they make reference to Bret saying his name like "Brit," but as far as I remember no joke has been make about how Jemaine's name is "Jemaine" and not "Jermaine."

Right? That seems like something to call attention to. Does that make me sound totally uncultured and daft? Is "Jemaine" a super common name in Kiwitown?

By the way, Jermaine Jackson's son is named Jermajesty. If you didn't know that, you're welcome.

Looking forward to the wedding and seeing everyone. Love to all.

"Just Another"
Pete Yorn

Stars in 4OT

2008-05-04T23:31:00.000-07:00

What a hockey game. Glad I stayed up to see it.

Apartment hunting tomorrow in Austin. Expect an update on that.

"I Will Possess Your Heart"
Death Cab for Cutie

Ed Norton Reading the Phone Book

2008-04-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

I need to own the film, Keeping the Faith. I caught a few minutes of it this morning and it made me super happy. It's just so, so sweet. Love it.

Love this song, too.

"Heart of Mine"
Peter Salett

The Writing Gig

2008-04-19T00:24:00.000-07:00

EDWIN
Yeah, pretty intense shit. So, a few years ago I started telling people that he had a pig heart.

BECKY
(loud laughing)
Why?

EDWIN
I don’t know. I mean I read some article about how pig organs are theoretically the most interchangeable with human organs. I just ran with it, I guess.

BECKY keeps laughing.

EDWIN (CONT’D)
The best part is that most people don’t know their shit and give me this blank stare for a while before I have to tell them that I’m kidding.

BECKY turns to MITCH.

BECKY
(loud)
I never knew about your pig heart!

I am doing some serious rewrites. Forgetting Sarah Marshall was actually incredible. Yeah, I know, right?

Alright, you know what actually bothers me about the whole writing gig? You ready for a little arrogance? Good. I actually think I'm a pretty good writer. I do. It may not be reflected in the passage above, but I am confident that I can make an extremely comfortable living as a writer.

It's the drive. I can watch a movie or TV show that inspires me for a day or week, but never for a longer stretch of time. My most productive period was when I was writing for a grad school deadline. That's really frustrating. I have all of these free-flowing ideas that I should be capitalizing on, but I usually don't unless I have this sense of urgency like, "Hey John, there are some really funny, really talented people out there writing up a storm and there's nothing in the goddamned universe you can do to stop them."

That, friends, is the long and short of my lingering fear about my chosen career path. Is there a pill I can take? Is there a libation I can consume?

THANKSEVERYBODYBYEEEEEE.

"Daisies of the Galaxy"
Eels

Los Rollings

2008-04-13T21:42:00.000-07:00

Contemporary music is just fine. I'm rather enjoying the current musical climate, but I'm still not totally convinced that The Rolling Stones between 1962 and 1982 don't represent the absolute pinnacle of what we know as modern rock music. Most people know their hits, which sound a lot like you'd expected rock music that old to sound, but a lot of their stuff that didn't receive a ton of (or any) airplay is extremely varied in structure, lyric, and melody.

Some people say "The Beatles," but The Stones can bring the rock a lot harder. Some say "Led Zeppelin," but The Stones write a better ballad. Some say "Dylan," but The Stones embrace a wider variety of influences. Some say "Nirvana," but The Stones know how to have more fun with their music.

The Stones do everything and they do everything exceedingly well. I won't be so brazen to declare that they're the best band ever, but I will say they're the most complete. It just so happens I also believe they're the best.

Not that you asked.

"Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo (Heartbreaker)"
The Rolling Stones

The Office: Frasier Edition

2008-04-02T16:18:00.000-07:00

The relatively recent announcement that a spin off of The Office is coming (and consequently debuting on Super Bowl Sunday 2009) may have confirmed my fears that the staff is totally overexerting itself. Color me concerned. I am happy that the original is coming back on the air next Thursday.

That's all.

"Change Your Mind"
The Killers

Robert Downey Jefferson

2008-03-18T14:32:00.000-07:00

No one could possibly understand how excited I am about Tropic Thunder. It's just wrong how excited I am.

"Blank Slate"
The National

A Horrible Colloquialism

2008-03-17T16:23:00.000-07:00

"I could care less."

People I love. People I respect. People I admire. Intelligent people. Grammatically conscious people. I, myself.

They all say it or have said it.

But think about it. Please. If you could care less, then you could very well care a great deal for whatever is being discussed. You dig?

It doesn't peeve me as much as "nucular" does. Jesus H. God in Everlasting Heaven that makes me angry. As long as you pronounce the word "nuclear" as the Maker fucking intended, then we're cool.

I think we should all try to overcome the bad colloquialism of "I could care less," though.

"Heart Shaped Box"
The Crest

Things to Remember: Lauren, Part One

2008-03-17T00:13:00.000-07:00

What I would consider our first date, though this is certainly up for discussion, would be the night we spent in Dean the Saturday before that fateful Valentine's Day.

We took a short trip to Wal-Mart at about 1am to procure Pizza Rolls. I can actually feel how windy it was that night. It was a crisp night, but it wasn't cold.

In an effort to install Ms. Muirhead-esque symbolism grasping into my blog, I can tell you that the wind really meant something to me that night. I don't know. I just remember how "windy" (Jesus, what am I doing?) my life had been for a while up to that point, and how I felt like my life wasn't the windy thing; at least for one night.

A date had been something to freak out about, something to get obscenely nervous about, something to analyze as it happened, and in many ways something to dread. This was different. This was...organic, I guess. I think that's the best way to describe it.

A dimly-lit room, some (bad) movies, some junk food prepared in the basement of my dorm, and some discussion about personal tastes. There just wasn't anything outside that dorm room.

The evening gave me every reason to be confident enough to man up, so to speak.

And here we are.

"Ada"
The National

Entrepreneurs

2008-03-11T23:38:00.000-07:00

Peter just posted a brief entry about how he entertains the idea of setting up a website where he can showcase his creative talent. I've always wanted to do something entrepreneurial, but I've never been quite sure what that would be. I'm not really good at the web comic thing. Any blog entries I write aren't super interesting or well-written.

I've been told I could have a knack for radio, but I think that's a nice way of telling me I'm ugly.

In all seriousness, I've entertained the idea of setting up a radio program over the internet (or a podcast, as the young people are calling them nowadays) but I wouldn't know where to start. I know who I'd like to work with if they'd have the time/want to, but that's only a small start. I know the content I'd like to present on the show, which is a slightly better start. I just don't know how expensive/lucrative/possible it would all be.

These ideas are flowing a little more freely this evening since I received the first of what I assume will be two rejection letters from the UT Austin Graduate Program this afternoon. I'm not even that down about the rejection since it hasn't broken my spirit when it comes to writing. It's not like the rejection makes me enjoy the process any less. Hey, maybe I'll be able to sell my shit without having to go through 2-3 years of graduate school.

In the meantime, I'll probably (read: certainly) need to get a job in Austin. I'm still pretty solid on moving down there for my first few years or so of married life. It seems like a nice place to start. I'd love to get a nine-to-five, come home to Lauren, write a little in the evening, and maybe do a radio show on the weekends. That would be marvelous. Marvelous, I say.

"Little Sister"
Queens of the Stone Age

The Hour Lost

2008-03-10T01:29:00.000-07:00

Best emo band name ever?

The idea of losing an hour is so uncomplicated, but for some reason it just beats me half to death every year. It's times like these I wish we all lived in Arizona, where they don't even fuck with Daylight Savings Time. Or at least I think I'm remembering that right from when Mike lived there.

That doesn't seem right.

I'll look it up tomorrow to confirm.

"M79"
Vampire Weekend

What Made Dexter Freebish Famous

2008-03-08T00:42:00.000-08:00

OK, so I love this Austin-based band called What Made Milwaukee Famous. I first heard them when they opened for Arcade Fire years ago at an ACL after show. You know, the one where Gweneth Paltrow sat on Lauren's jacket and Lauren glared at her before realizing that it was fucking Gweneth Paltrow. Anyway, they just released a new album and I like it a lot, but there is an unreal similarity between their new single entitled "Sultan" and Dexter Freebish's 2000 ditty from Life of Saturdays called "Deeper." I mean, I can remember hearing "Last Nite" by the Strokes and thinking it vaguely sounded like something I had heard from Tom Petty ("American Girl") but I usually don't dwell on songs from different bands that sound exactly the fucking same.

Of course, I exaggerate a bit, but it's just odd that they're both bands from Austin and write self-aware ballads and alternative songs that sound an awful lot like each other. It is a wonder to me why Dexter Freebish was never bigger than it was. I guess they probably should've come out with a much, much better follow-up to Life of Saturdays than they ultimately did.

Goodness, same with Lovedrug. What the fuck happened there?

I can remember listening to Pretend You're Alive and thinking, "If these guys aren't the biggest little indie band on the planet in three years I'll just fucking snap." I was so excited for their sophomore album, but it was probably the biggest musical disappointment I've ever experienced.

Actually, the fact that Third Eye Blind won't get their shit together and will probably never, ever release another album until the day they all die is my greatest musical disappointment. I was pretty optimistic after hearing a few of their new songs in concert, but Jenkins is just kind of a tool box. Judging by the minutes leading up to their show, he's way more interested in bolstering the career of Vanessa Carlton (even though I don't think they're dating anymore) than writing new material for 3eb. Before a band takes the stage, they usually pipe similar music through the speaker system to get people psyched for the show, but all we got were songs from Carlton's newest album. I don't really have a problem with Carlton, per se -- I've been known to rock way the fuck out for "White Houses" -- but Jesus with Out of the Vein it was all about Charlize fucking Theron and now it seems like he's all about this piano-playing, Jay Leno doppelganger who probably couldn't buy another hit if she sold her strong jaw to a desperate transsexual looking to find the missing piece that doesn't rhyme with "weenus."

I'm a man who's passionate about my 3eb. There isn't a world that can exist where people value new 3eb albums less than Vanessa Carlton's entire career.

I am serious, though, I love "White Houses." It's almost like Ste......oh wait he did co-write and produce that song. Well. Jimminy Shitmas.

Maybe Jenkins can just write a billion songs for Vanessa Carlton. I mean, it's better than nothing, I guess. JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING, STEPHEN JENKINS.

I guess we'll always have The National. I swear, Boxer has to be one of the better albums front to back that I've ever heard. I like most of their other stuff, too, but Boxer is just sublime through and through. I can't stress that point enough. You want me to do a little flow chart? I think you do. Here we go!

John's Amazing Albums Through the Years Flow Chart:
The Offspring Smash --> Third Eye Blind Third Eye Blind --> Incubus Morning View --> Pete Yorn Musicforthemorningafter --> Interpol Turn on the Bright Lights --> The Killers Hot Fuss --> The National Boxer

It's something like that. I've probably forgotten something. Wow I'm tired. I have to get up at eight.

"Self-Destruct"
What Made Milwaukee Famous

Red Ring of Death

2008-03-06T23:01:00.000-08:00

It only took six months for my Elite to fry. Hoo-ray.

I'm a little miffed, although I am really surprised they didn't ask me to send my entire hard drive with it. I don't know why they would ask for it, I just expected they would for some unknown, stupid reason.

What's even more frustrating is that it started to work after I called the problem in. I mean it's probably best to just send it in anyway, but it's still lame.

Peter alerted me to an article about a guy who had his 360 signed by a ton of Halo developers and sent it in to be worked on. He wrote them a really long letter about how he would prefer to fix the system instead of replacing it for obvious reasons. When he got his system back, it was totally blank with faint streaks on it resembling scrubbed-off permanent marker.

To my knowledge nothing has been proven, but it takes a special kind of dick to obey the request of a letter from a paying customer just to erase what made the request relevant in the first place.

Maybe I should forge Bill Gates' signature and see if they scrub it off.

Also:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cl90RGpB1EQ

"Lucky You"
The National

Life's Spoiler Alert

2008-02-29T23:33:00.000-08:00

Do your damnedest to act like you didn't read this here (Ben and Shelley, I'm talking to you two since I believe you two are the only ones who ever read this thing besides those who already know) in case they really, really want to tell everyone in person like they did Jeremy, Lauren, and I, but I just really, really wanted to document the fact that I am quite stoked that Mike asked Rachel to marry him and she said "yes."

You gotta lock that down.

And he has.

Good one, Mike.

"Mr. November"
The National

Things to Remember: Shelley, Part One

2008-02-27T22:30:00.000-08:00

Remember when we all went over to your dad's place for a summer barbecue thing? Remember how much fun that was?

What time did we all go home that night?

I think that might have been the first time we all hell of gossiped for that lengthy amount of time.

I find fighting nostalgia with nostalgia works alarmingly well. Does that make sense?

It was a red-letter night, that's all I'm saying.

Feel better, Shellphone.

Things to Remember: Mike, Part One

2008-02-24T22:48:00.000-08:00

I can recall a day between second grade and fifth grade that Mike and I had a very, very heated discussion (read: pissy argument) about which conference the San Francisco 49ers belonged to.

He insisted that it was the AFC, but I knew better. It wasn't enough that I knew better, though. It was that I was a huge, dicky brat about it. I stormed into the kitchen and asked my mother and father. They backed me up, of course, but I could tell even then that they were appalled at how demonstrative I was about something so inconsequential.

In my defense, Mike was being a dicky brat about it, too. He just wouldn't let go of the idea that if the Cowboys and 49ers played each other in the playoffs, it meant that the 49ers were in the AFC.

It wasn't horrible logic for an elementary school student who knew the Super Bowl was always played between the NFC and AFC and that the Cowboys and 49ers almost never played each other during the regular season.

I wouldn't let it go, either.

I really, really doubt he remembers that. Maybe I'll post it on my Xanga to see if he does. In a way, I still feel bad about it to this day.

It was the kind of stubbornness that brought us back together after a year of fighting in fifth grade, though. I have to be thankful for that.

"Here Comes Your Man"
Pixies

The Band

2008-02-10T10:12:00.000-08:00

1) A male singer.
2) A female singer.
3) A guitarist.
4) A bassist.
5) A keyboardist/pianist.
6) A drummer.
7) A violinist.
8) A brass/woodwind player.
9) A good songwriter.
10) People with eclectic tastes.

Obviously, there can be some overlapping here. I'm sure we can compromise on what's necessary and what isn't.

"Squalor Victoria"
The National

An Inconvenient Poop

2008-02-06T20:21:00.000-08:00

I got in touch with the co-producer of An Inconvenient Truth today so she could help me with an email campaign for The Unforeseen. It's just bizarre. I sent off this email to a woman who made millions for this documentary and I got a reply in less than ten minutes.

It makes me feel good about the industry, I guess. I guess I know that some of these people still check their email, aren't dicks, etc.

I dunno, I just thought that was neato torpedo.

Ah, Folklore. If you like a more strategic Devil May Cry with Pokemon/Kingdom Hearts elements and stellar dialogue and art design, then the game is probably for you. I'm enjoying it a lot.

I think I'll get Lost Odyssey when it comes out next week. I actually enjoyed Blue Dragon quite a bit, so Mistwalker hasn't totally left my radar as far as good 360 JRPGs go. And can you really go wrong with Uematsu? I hear the story is pretty fucking trite, but show me a good RPG that hasn't already been done to death in some fashion and I'll show you twenty more where that came from. It's ultimately all about writing and design for me at the end of the day. Ultimately at the end of the day. Come on.

Anyway!

I've had a love/hate thing with the Devil May Cry series. I'm intrigued about the new entry (as well as the new Penny Arcade strip about the PS3's installation thing, which I approve of, by the way), but definitely not enough to buy it until a drop in price. I enjoyed the first entry and the third entry (which I haven't played through yet), but the second was so absolutely vanilla, but gross and heavy vanilla, that it's been hard for me to go back to the series with open arms.

Also, listen to The National. Please. Thanks, Peter.

"Slow Show"
The National

Seeking Brass Bolts

2008-02-04T19:31:00.000-08:00

Maybe the honeymoon will be over soon, but so far I'm actually quite happy to be back in Sherman. I hooked up my computer to a little TV monitor so I could have my iTunes on one screen and the rest of my shit to the computer monitor itself. I like this setup. I actually think it'll help me be more productive.

Cool story, John!

I'm really happy that everyone (except maybe whiney Pats fans, of which there are many of those in the known universe) is finally seeing Belichick for the sore loser shit he is. Even Randy Moss was being a gracious loser. Incredible. Having said that, I could probably go forever without seeing either of those teams win another Super Bowl. Here's to hoping the Cowboys wise up and try to sign Randy Moss out of free agency instead instead of trading Marion Barber to the Dolphins for a totally untested rookie RB. Jesus.

My plan is to have a totally finished, "not gonna touch it again until after I hypothetically sell it to a big movie studio" copy of my first screenplay, tentatively titled Nerdy Hopeless Romantics, ready for everyone's reading pleasure by next weekend.

Cool story, John!

Oh yeah, maybe you can answer me this one, Ben, but why the hell would anyone actually do Prestige Mode in COD4?

That Big Scary Moment of Thinking You're Shit

2008-01-17T22:30:00.000-08:00

I know Shelley can empathize here. I'm sure most of you can empathize, but I've heard Shelley echo some of the following rather recently. I'll make it rather short.

I don't want to be a TV writer because I know I'm not Ricky Gervais. I don't want to be an actor because I know I'm not Clive Owen. I don't want to be a novelist because I know I'm not Kingsley Amis. I don't want to be a musician because I know I'm not Stephen Jenkins.

I know all of that is just fucking stupid, but it's really hard. Complain, complain, complain, I know. But Jesus, I'll never be that funny or insightful or piercing. I'm not even sure I want to be that funny or insightful or piercing because they do it so well.

It's just hard to get over that. Admiration is just hard to get over.

I definitely still want to be a TV writer, though. I just need to get some tougher skin.

"Can't You Hear Me Knocking"
The Rolling Stones

Flat Panels and Terraforming

2008-01-12T23:32:00.000-08:00

Did anyone else here recently wake up and realize your childhood vision of the future was coming to fruition?

How many of your life goals can you mark off at this point?

Does anyone have life goals?

"Sleep"
Azure Ray

Oh Goodness

2007-12-12T23:59:00.000-08:00

This thing is going to be about 30% longer than I initially expected.

I guess that's not a terrible thing, just a...

NARM NARM NARM NARM NARM NARM.

*strokes. dies.*

"Yours to Keep"
Teddybears

FOOTBALL ARF ARF ARF

2007-11-25T23:30:00.000-08:00

The Pats certainly looked like a beatable team tonight. If the Boys see the Pats in the Super Bowl, and I think that's probable, it'll be a tight contest. I've never rooted for the Eagles before, but I found myself cheering for Emo Quarterback of the Future, AJ Feeley. McNabb is done in Philly. He'll be in Chicago this time next year, giving the Bears a breath of fresh air in the QB department.

Speaking of the Bears and quarterbacks, Rex Grossman didn't throw the game away against the Broncos at home today. Color me impressed, but color me even more impressed with Devin Hester. Goodness gracious. 27 games in the NFL with 10 return touches, come on. He passed Gale Sayers as the Bears' all-time return man. Good company.

I could probably write a novel about everything that's wrong with the NFL Network and the fact that millions of football fans will miss Thursday night's game between the Pack and the Boys. The biggest issue, no surprise here, is Jerry Jones. He's the new President of the NFL Network. He's the one going around telling people to drop cable and switch to satellite so they'll get the NFL Network. Now, if my team were 10-1 for the first time ever, and we're going into a home-field-advantage-deciding game against the 10-1 Packers, I'd want as many people as humanly possible to see the game. But no, not Jerry. Jerry wants you to switch to Dish Network so you can see the game on the NFL Network. It's a crock of shit and the NFL should be way fucking embarrassed about this. I'm not torn up about missing the Indy-Falcons game the other night, but someone is somewhere in the United States. If the NFL wants to branch out to China, Mexico, London, and so forth, they should reach out to their American fans first. I was a rabid supporter of the NFL Network before they started buying rights to more and more games each season. I think guys like Chris Collinsworth and Brian Baldinger, who work for NFL Network as well as NBC and Fox, respectively, should be embarrassed that they're playing both sides of this thing.

It's bullshit and it needs to stop, end of story.

"Money for Nothing"
Dire Straits

Remember Those Old Xanga Rants?

2007-10-09T20:45:00.000-07:00

It does worry me, admittedly -- the idea that I can't write shit unless it's the low light of winter, I'm exposed to extended interaction with many people at once, or I'm depressed.

Of course, I'm certainly more content with being happy than depressed. There isn't much I can do about the people thing. I'm working from home, I have no desire to spend time on campus, and writing in a coffee shop really is a laughable move. I'll only have about a month of the low light of winter before I have to close shop and send everything in to UT.

Then, my stuff actually has to be good enough to get in.

Not much I can do about that, either. Not much I can do about not being 28, the average age of applicants to the schools which I'm applying.

I haven't felt this powerless in a while. Not much to get depressed about here, though. I'm planning a wedding with the woman of my dreams and watching the Cowboys have the best season they've had in nearly 25 years.

There just isn't time to be moody and nostalgic with all of this happiness floating around. Maybe I missed my shot back in 2004 to be a stellar writer. Did I miss my shot to be moody and nostalgic for a lifetime and make oodles of cash doing it?

What am I going to do? It's not like I woke up and couldn't express the things I want to express. I'm just not terribly concerned with expressing them. I think about them, sure, but when it comes time to strap down and write -- that's a losing battle most of time.

Chances are, this bout of new-found honesty here will fuel some good writing. It couldn't come at a better time. I'm just so worried about blowing my chance to get into grad school. Maybe I'll swallow my pride and start writing at a coffee shop. I should probably just embrace that part of me that gets a jolt from working in public. Who knew I was such a voyeur?

Peter did say something to me the other night after watching Knocked Up and discussing the future DVD release of Superbad. He expressed disappointment that he'd never be able to write anything as funny as those movies. That prospect totally terrifies me -- it's definitely something I think about every time I see something I love (the aforementioned, Six Feet Under, Arrested Development, etc.).

I just need to clear my mind of the irrelevant. I need to remember why I wanted to write in the first place. I need to start thinking in terms of who would see/read what I write instead of those I'm writing it for. Does that make sense?

I think maybe I'm terrified of what the people I'm writing it for will think. I need to abandon that.

Quickly.

"Savannah Smiles"
Okkervil River

The Ineffable Feeling

2007-09-12T22:03:00.000-07:00

I'll probably post this on the 'ol Xanga, but I'll post it here first. Can you name any movies/TV shows that really capture the ineffable feeling of falling in love? Can you think of any scenes in particular? What about other realistic representations of profound emotions?

It's not that I can't think of any, but I'm interested in knowing what everyone else (pretty much meaning Jeremy, Shelley, and Lauren) thinks.

Watching the third season of "The Office" caused me to remember how wonderful DVD can be for TV shows. I watched almost every episode as they aired, but DVD makes the show (and many shows) exponentially better.

"Homecoming"
Kanye West

Oh, the Spending

2007-08-26T22:17:00.000-07:00

I need to start working 35hr weeks to pay for everything I want for this year (better internet, digital cable, videogames, and, most importantly, wedding stuff). I need to get on that.

Bioshock is easily one of the best games I've played in a long time. I've never been one of those people who thinks it's permissable to buy a system for one game, but this game comes pretty close to me hanging that idea up for good. My shiney new Elite looks pretty sweet on my parents' HDTV. It's so weird sitting so far away from a TV to play a game. Ah, the wave of the future. I may go up to Sherman tomorrow just to get Madden so I can play it on the awesome TV.

I like the new Rilo Kiley despite some horrible tracks. The new Eisley is alright in my book--it'd be hard to ever top Room Noises. Haven't jumped head-first into the new Architecture, yet. The new Mae is OK. It's been a while since I've gotten really excited about Mae, so it doesn't surprise me that I'm not trembling about the new album.

I am also quite excited about "Dexter" on DVD.

Oh, also, remind me not to ever wear eye makeup for the hell of it. I think it looks like balls on 99.9% of men.

But yeah, BIOSHOCK. Get it. Now.

"Silver Lining"
Rilo Kiley

Matt Groening Took 87 Minutes Away From My Life

2007-08-05T22:15:00.000-07:00

I'm quite excited for Lauren's arrival here in the Dallas area. We're really starting to get the ball rolling on this wedding stuff.

On a different note, I have a feeling that everything leading up to James and Erin's October 5th nuptials will be quite turbulent. I hope not, but when you run with a lie for that long, something's got to give.

I've been getting my ass spanked by some kid online in All-Pro. Clearly something needs to change. Maybe I'll make a new team. I need some blinding speed.

The Simpsons was really one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I wish I was exaggerating. It was just terrible. Ben and I didn't really laugh at all. They ruined the funniest part (Spiderpig) by putting it in the trailer. Bourne Ultimatum was pretty good. I enjoyed it less than its predecessors, but it was still awesome in it's own way. Matt Damon is a bona fide action star in my book. Who knew?

"In the Aeroplane Over the Sea"
Neutral Milk Hotel

Patch, Pill, Turkey, What Have You

2007-08-03T00:52:00.000-07:00

I think I got my parents to quit smoking tonight, starting on September 2. I'm pretty excited about it, but we'll see how long it lasts.

"The Gymnast, High Above the Ground"
The Decemberists

Blegh

2007-07-24T15:53:00.000-07:00

I was at www.rollingmeme.blogspot.com, but I have a new Google email address, so here I am.